7 Ways to Make Grandma Do All the Work This Thanksgiving So You Can Chill (GIFS)

grandma in the windowThanksgiving means spending time with family, and that's something to be thankful for! No, seriously, hear us out: Grandparents = free babysitting, remember? And if you play your cards right by striking the perfect balance between being overly complimentary and endearingly needy, you just might be able to coax Grandma into being your personal assistant/housekeeper, too!

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Am I telling you to turn the holidays into one big opportunity to take advantage of your parents? No, of course not. I'm merely giving you suggestions for maximizing this magical time of year for the most possible free childcare free food free laundry services fun! Ain't nothing wrong with that! Here's how:

1. When she asks if she can bring anything to Thanksgiving dinner, send her your Coscto list. You know, since she's going anyway and you'll be so busy getting the house ready and taking care of the kids. And because she's so much better than you at finding good deals. Sometime she's really gonna have to give you a lesson in coupon clipping! (On second thought, don't send her the list -- print it out. Neither emails nor texts are reliable forms of communication with grandmas.)

2. Be sure to tell her that the thing is, no matter how hard you try, you've just never been able to make stuffing like hers. Or green bean casserole. Or pie. It's just that she's such an amazing cook and, hey, turns out she was right when she said you should have been paying attention to what she was doing in the kitchen all those years! Actually, since she's getting groceries and coming to your house anyway, maybe she should just make a few side dishes and desserts? Or all of them? So yeah, everybody would be better off if she would just make pretty much everything, okay?

3. Suggest that since traffic is gonna be crazy and she's gonna be so tired after Thanksgiving dinner that maybe she should just spend the night at your place. Then, when the clock strikes midnight and everybody's in bed, you can sneak out and hit those Black Friday sales before all the good stuff is gone! You can even pick up something for Grandma, since she's been such a doll.

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4. Feign a migraine when your kids start squabbling over the wishbone, then retire to your room muttering something about all the times your sister was mean to you when you were a kid while your parents play referee. NETFLIX AND CHILL, b*tches!!

5. Tell a long sappy story at dinner about how some of your happiest times as a child were spent at the local ice skating rink and how you wish you had more time to take your kids ice skating but, well, nowadays life is just so darn busy and wouldn't it be so NICE if the kids could spend the day after Thanksgiving at the ice skating rink with Grandma? Because you know what an empty house the day after Thanksgiving means ... uninterrupted sexy time for Mom and Dad, awwwww yeah!!

6. While cleaning up the kitchen with your mom, explain in hushed tones that you're concerned about your kids not having a real sense of their family history. What with the Snapchat and the Miley Cyrus, kids today just don't get it, you know? Maybe a little quality Thanksgiving weekend time spent poring over old family photo albums with Grandma and Grandpa would set your offspring straight ... while you run out for a quick trip to the salon.

7. While everyone is sitting around watching TV after dinner, bring a basket of laundry in the living room to fold ... and proceed to do a horrible job while your mom watches. She won't be able to stop herself from taking over the task! 

 

Image via iStock.com/lisafx

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