9 Thoughts Every Mom Has at Her First High School Open House (GIFS)

lockersBy the time your kid starts high school, you've got so many open house nights under your belt you probably consider yourself a pro: Show up, watch a slideshow about Common Core, sign up for a parent-teacher conference. But it turns out all that experience is for naught at your first high school open house -- as I recently learned!

Gone are the tiny desks arranged in a circle and advice on what to send for snacktime: Going to your first high school open house is like taking a step backward in time to your own first day of freshman year (except you forgot your backpack, your books, your pencils, and maybe even your underwear). In short, it's like some crazy recurring nightmare, except you can't wake up. The good news, however, is that you can go home. Except first you have to go through this crazy range of feelings and reactions:
1. Wow, all the other parents look so old. WAIT, DO I LOOK THAT OLD?! No, no way. I'm not like them!

2. The Algebra teacher totally looks like that jerk I dated junior year of college. OMG, is THAT the jerk I dated junior year of college??

3. Did I ever know anything about molecular biology? I don't think they had that when I was in high school. Or is this early onset Alzheimer's??

4. Okay, at least I know what the English teacher is talking about. Although the typos on the syllabus are troubling.

5. How in God's name does my kid find her way around this place? Wait, take a left at the science wing and turn right at the auditorium ... this looks like the janitor's closet!

6. Oh boy, a table with free dessert! Wait, what do you mean I have to sign up for the PTA if I want a brownie?

7. I guess I should probably introduce myself to the French teacher. Hey, maybe I should introduce myself IN FRENCH!

8. I really wish they would stop talking about college credits. Please, can we just get through the first month of high school here??

9. Well, at least when this night is over I get to go home and never come back here again! At least until tomorrow morning, when I drop my kid off. But that's different. Because high school is OVER for me, YASSSSS! 

Image via Alexa Clark/Flickr
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