10 Household Items You Can Use to Cover Up While Breastfeeding

Eve Vawter | Aug 10, 2015 Being a Mom

I firmly believe a woman should be able to breastfeed wherever she wants - except while driving a 2015 Lamborghini Aventador down the 17 mile drive in Monterey, because, ya know, that's "Mommy Time" -- wearing whatever she wants, or nothing at all. 

You shouldn't have to cover up while breastfeeding. Where and when and how you breastfeed should be between two people, you and your baby. But there will always be those who want you to cover up, to conceal the fact you are doing something as scandalous and as pornographic as giving your baby lunch. Here are 10 easily found items you can always use in case some asshole tells you to "cover up" while breastfeeding.

 

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  • Behind a Potted Plant

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    Just duck behind a houseplant. An added bonus is your baby may think you are breastfeeding in the jungle and get some sensory stimulation. 

  • Under a Bedsheet

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    Ooooo you are a ghost! With Halloween fast approaching, your nosy neighbor who wants you to cover up while breastfeeding will just assume you have added some seasonal decor to your porch. Little do they know that it's you under that sheet, just feeding your baby. Scary. 

  • Behind a Tin of Freshly Baked Muffins

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    This one works exceedingly well, especially when you are entertaining those who may be scandalized that you would dare to feed your own baby in your house. Simply whip up a tin of muffins, and use that to conceal your breasts when you whip those out to feed your baby. 

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  • While You Stand Behind an Aquarium

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    Have company over who are offended by you feeding your baby? Simply hide behind the aquarium. You may have to tap the glass to make your fish swim around to conceal you, because you sure don't want anyone seeing a flash of nipple or something. 

  • Behind the Family Dog

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    If you don't have fish in your home, maybe you have a family dog. One thing Rover would be great at is hiding your breasts when you need to feed your baby. Just make sure you also have a pile of dog treats so you can make him stay in one place and not expose you. 

  • With the TV in Front of You

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    This one works extremely well when you have some of your more conservative friends or family members over to watch the big game. When baby is hungry, just stand directly in front of the TV and nurse away. If anyone complains they can't see what the score is, just tell them that they are the ones scandalized by your public nursing so they have to wait until baby is done eating. 

  • Behind a Pile of Cookies

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    Always be baking. Because you will always be breastfeeding and this way you can just duck behind a pile of cookies so no one can be offended while you nurse. 

  • Under a Pile of Stuffed Animals

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    One thing that babies always seem to receive by the dozen as gifts are stuffed animals. Put these to good use by hiding under them when it's time to breastfeed. Just bury yourself under all the teddy bears and stuffed bunnies they get. No cover-up? No problem. 

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  • In a Pile of Leaves

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    Why should you be trapped inside when everyone else is enjoying a crisp fall day? Simply wait until you see a giant pile of leaves and use it to camouflage you and baby so you don't upset anyone while you're breastfeeding in public. 

  • And in Case You Venture Out, Behind a Handbag Display

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    We've all heard the stories of store employees kicking out a mom for breastfeeding, so now you just have to act like a sneaky ninja and hide behind displays of handbags and sweaters. That will stop them from suggesting you go breastfeed in a dirty public bathroom. 

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