Parenting

19 Unintentionally Inappropriate Sidewalk Chalk Drawings by Little Kids (PHOTOS)

ParentingPublished Jul 2, 2015
By Meredith Bland
funny sidewalk chalk

Sidewalk chalk drawings done by kids are a treasure trove of weirdness. Sure, there are an impressively large number of rockets and trees that look like penises (why does every kid draw them that way?) but there are also a lot of words and pictures that expose us to a whole different kind of weird. Chalk art allows us to look through the eyes of children and say, "Nope. You're off by just a hair, and yes, that hair is on what appears to be a testicle."

Let's collectively shake our heads at these sidewalk chalk drawings done by kids that adults see quite differently.

Do you have any pictures of sidewalk chalk drawings by your kids that look like something a little different? Can you top #8?

Image via Imgur

1/19
And We Have Our First Penis-placeholder
And We Have Our First Penis
Imgur

And We Have Our First Penis

The child who drew this said it was a race car; a very tall race car with no doors or steering wheel. The thing is a death trap. Also, totally looks like a penis.

2/19
One Hand With One Purpose-placeholder
One Hand With One Purpose
Imgur

One Hand With One Purpose

So your little person has no feet, ears, or nose, but does have one hand to flip people off with? This guy can ride shotgun with us any time.

3/19
Mom's Job Is Weird-placeholder
Mom's Job Is Weird
Imgur

Mom's Job Is Weird

This a picture of "Mom's job." Not sure what mom actually does, but her child seems to think she works at an undersea strip club frequented by lobsters.

4/19
Kids Are Terrifying-placeholder
Kids Are Terrifying
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Kids Are Terrifying

Not saying we're wusses, but we are saying that if we read this on the sidewalk, we would run the rest of the way home. Unless the lack of an apostrophe was intentional, in which case we would be relieved that whatever was hunting us was hunting us no more.

More from The Stir: 10 Incredible Images That Make You Look at Kids' Sidewalk Chalk in a Whole New Way

5/19
That's Sweet, Now Erase It-placeholder
That's Sweet, Now Erase It
Imgur

That's Sweet, Now Erase It

Ah, that time when children still don't know that the word "ball" is always funny, and that "I like to play with balls," is something that you can never say.

6/19
None Of This Makes Sense-placeholder
None Of This Makes Sense
Imgur

None Of This Makes Sense

The child who drew this said it was a "bug elevator." First of all, bugs don't need elevators. Second of all, we know we have the technology so we would like someone to build a bug elevator ASAP. And third, penis.

7/19
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She Had Good Intentions
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She Had Good Intentions

This was supposed to by the word "Hi," with a heart at the end. Instead, she wrote a love letter to a deadly virus.

8/19
Seriously, Though-placeholder
Seriously, Though
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Seriously, Though

It's even pink and white, y'all. We just can't.

 More from The Stir: 19 Awesome Pieces of Kid Art Parents Have Tattooed on Their Bodies

9/19
We'd Be Scared, Too-placeholder
We'd Be Scared, Too
Instagram

We'd Be Scared, Too

If we were in a canoe and a flying penis with four eyes started chasing us, we'd paddle pretty darn fast. We feel you, Stick Person.

10/19
Damn it, Kids-placeholder
Damn it, Kids
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Damn it, Kids

It's not funny...okay, it's pretty funny, but it's not nice to make fun of gullible people like me who will now have to cross the street to avoid whatever unknown terror lies ahead.

11/19
That's a Happy Turtle-placeholder
That's a Happy Turtle
Imgur

That's a Happy Turtle

We don't know much about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles except that they exist and the middle linebacker of the Seahawks is a big fan. But that is one happy ass ninja turtle.

More from The Stir: Turtle Cupcakes Recipe So Good It's Almost Evil

12/19
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We are Officially Old
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We are Officially Old

Now the kids are writing hashtags with sidewalk chalk. To us, it will always be a pound sign. #NeverForgetThePoundSign

13/19
Thank You, Nightmare-placeholder
Thank You, Nightmare
Imgur

Thank You, Nightmare

A robot jack-in-the-box with sharp teeth and a Santa hat? Yes, please! We were running out of nightmare fuel so this comes at a really good time for us.

14/19
You Can Stay-placeholder
You Can Stay
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You Can Stay

Now this is some sidewalk chalk art I can get behind.

15/19
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Speaking of 'Behind'
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Speaking of 'Behind'

Aaaaaaaaaaaand thank you for bringing us back down to earth. We think we'll go talk to the kids about how a mom's stomach is like a big squishy pillow and eat a Snickers bar in the corner like a dog.

More from The Stir: 21 Questions About Mom's Body Only a Kid Would Aks

16/19
Just Stop, Honey-placeholder
Just Stop, Honey
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Just Stop, Honey

This is supposed to be one little girl's family, drawn as if they were all giraffes. Why? It doesn't matter. Because child. And can we please stop making feet look like balls? Come on, kids. Work with us.

17/19
This Kid Gets It-placeholder
This Kid Gets It
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This Kid Gets It

This kid isn't fooled; they know you're going to walk all over their chalk drawing no matter how nicely they ask you. Why? Because life is about dashed hopes and crushed dreams. And by the way, that sidewalk chalk will probably give you cancer.

18/19
Meet Every Single Family Picture-placeholder
Meet Every Single Family Picture
Instagram

Meet Every Single Family Picture

If there is one thing that unites all people, it's that our children will draw us all as stick figures with enormous heads. This particular child put more emphasis on noses and right hands than usual, and we appreciate their unique artistic vision.

19/19
Well Said-placeholder
Well Said
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Well Said

Nailed it. Nailed all of it.

More from The Stir: 7 Potty Training Mistakes Moms Make and How to Avoid Them

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