15 Ridiculous (& LOL) Things Moms Have Said at the Dinner Table

One of the parenting goals I set for myself early on was to try to make sure that we ate dinner at the table as a family as much as possible. We don’t always make it because, let’s face it, sometimes pizza in front of the TV has to happen, but most nights you’ll find us around our little table at dinnertime. That is also where I've caught myself saying some of the funniest things, and I'm not alone! Lots of moms find themselves forced to make the strangest, most ridiculous requests of their kids at the dinner table.

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Around our dinner table, I've said things like, “Sit down. No, down. On your bottom. That is not your bottom” and “Tacos are for eating, not for licking” and even, true story, “Nobody who is still naked when I get back is getting dessert.” And I’m not the only mom having to lay out some rather, well, odd rules at the dinner table.

Check out these 15 other hilarious dinner table warnings from moms:

1. “Please take your mouth off the garbage can and come back to the table.” -- Sara S.

2. “Please don’t put salami on your elbow.” -- Jaclyn D.

3. “The next person who licks any furniture goes straight to timeout!” -- Beth B.

4. “You can dance at the table, but you can’t DANCE dance at the table.” -- Cherie M. 

5. “Take that OUT OF YOUR NOSE, young lady!” -- Jamie J.                     

6. “Sit like a normal human being.” -- Liz R.

7. “Put your penis away.” -- Mona B.

8. “DO NOT BARF (sensitive gag reflexes abound here).” -- Elizabeth R.

9. “Stop telling your sister those are worms! You’re making her cry on spaghetti night!” -- Donna S.

10. “Grapes are not weapons.” -- Tamara Y.

11. “Nobody leaves the table until I find out who dumped peas into my milk.” -- Gretchen F.

12. “No eating like puppies when Grandpa and Grandma come over.” -- Polly M.

13. “It is a slice of pizza, not a science experiment! Stop dissecting!” -- Gina S.

14. “You both have the EXACT same amount … NO, I’m not going to count to prove it (we were having fried rice).” -- Selah V.

15. “We do NOT sit on our dinner plates!" -- Elsha V.  

What is the most ridiculous thing that has come out of your mouth at dinnertime?


Photo courtesy of © iStock.com/gpointstudio

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