10 Thoughts Every Mom Has on the Last Day of School

last day of schoolAh, the last day of the school year. It tends to be a day of mixed feelings. Usually those feelings are relief ... and dread. In some ways summer means freedom from responsibility, but in others it means enslavement in a hot and humid prison of free time.

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Here are 10 competing thoughts that every mom has at the end of the school year:

1. We never have to leave the house if we don't want to!

No more rushing to get out of the house in time for the school bell, no more racing to get to after-school activities, and lots more time for sweet, sweet sitting.

2. On the other hand ... we never have to leave the house if we don't want to.

Cabin fever is real, y'all. Those are the times when “going to pick up Mommy's prescriptions” turns into an activity that the whole family to enjoys.

3. Swimsuits count as "getting them dressed," right?

 

Kids, we're going to Target. You can only find one flip flop? Fine. We'll go barefoot. Hurray, summer!

4. Oh, crap, sunscreen. Every day.

Applying sunscreen to children every day is a special kind of hell. It's hard to tell who resents it more - - you, or your kid.

Probably your kid.

5. Later, homework! It's time for the school of Netflix.

 

It's not a coincidence that “Netflix” translates to “nap for mom” in Portugese. It's true.

More From The Stir: Putting Sunscreen on a Toddler Is Worse Than Having a Root Canal

6. And, so long, bath time! We're going to the pool three times a week!

What's up, chlorine?! We've missed you.

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Surely a chemical strong enough to neutralize the urine of hundreds of people is good enough to sterilize your children for a few days. I'm not saying I'm proud of this, but I'm also not soaked in bath water and covered to the elbows in suds.

7. There is no downside to the chlorine clean.

See? It's Queen Bey approved.

8. And just think: I don't have to make a single ham and cheese sandwich with the crusts cut off for 12 whole weeks!

Making the same sandwich five days a week gets to feel like flossing. You know it has to be done, but it's just so freaking boring. And if you skip a day, your kids will starve.

I think my metaphor fell apart in there somewhere.

9. Wait a second ... 12 weeks?!

 

That's three months. An quarter of an entire year. Eighty-four days. I'm not even going to do the math on how many hours that is because I don't have time for a panic attack right now.

10. We're definitely going to need some ice cream to get through this.

 

Summer time means it's always time for ice cream. (And to be sure that it's always time for ice cream, stick a GPS tracker onto your local ice cream truck. Weird? Maybe. Creepy? Definitely. Delicious? Always.)

What thoughts go through your head on the last day of school?

 

About the Author: Meredith Bland is a freelance writer whose work has appeared at Time.com; Brain, Mother; The Rumpus; Scary Mommy; and Blogher, among others. She also writes at her humor blog, Pile of Babies. You can follow her on Twitter at @pileofbabies or on Facebook.

 

Image via © iStock.com/OlesyaTurchuk

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