20 Signs You're a Millennial Mom

mom taking selfie with kidsTexting is our mode of communication, Facebook is our form of socialization, and, yeah, most of us are covered in tattoos. But at the end of the day, we are busting out backsides to provide for our family just like every generation of mothers before us. We are the millennial moms.


Here, some signs that you're a millennial mom too:

1. You think a minivan is a badass ride.

2. You've got a tattoo of your kid's name, birthdate, or picture somewhere on your body.

3. You set up play dates because you actually want to play … with the other kid's parents.

4. You've got the most amazing photo album of your kid. Of course, all 56,765 images are on your phone and have never been uploaded or printed.

5. You've got a daughter named Jazzmynn (Jasmine) 'cause creative spelling counts almost as much as a unique name.

6. Your shopping cart is filled with only GMO-Free and Organic foods. Because duh.

7. You love your kid's pediatrician -- Dr. Google is the best! And always there for you when you need him. Together you can diagnose anything! (Weird, though, how 99 percent of the time you end up with "Please seek emergency medical attention.")

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8. Forget about hiding broccoli in mac-n-cheese, your kids are not only familiar healthy foods like sushi and hummus, they eat them regularly. No sneaky tricks necessary.

9. Your kids have iPads and iPhones and maybe even a Kindle ... thanks, Grandma!

10. One of your favorites places to buy your kid's clothes? Etsy of course!

11. You and your kid blast and sing and dance along to All About the Bass, Last Friday Night, and Shake It Off on the way to school -- which makes you look even cooler in that minivan.

12. The likelihood that you know a child or have a child whose name ends in ‘yden’ (i.e. Hayden, Jayden, Ayden, Cayden, etc.) is abnormally high.

13. You’re just a little jealous with all the vast improvements made to the Barbie Motorhome and the Barbie Dream House. More so, you possibly even harbor a little resentment that your child was given both of them as gifts.

14. The only time you'd be spotted getting a mani/pedi, is when you're taking your son.

15. You're slightly addicted to .... Amazon Prime. There's no better feeling than knowing once you click that “purchase” button, you’ll have a present at your doorstep in two days … even if it is only a pair of kid's soccer cleats.

16. Your Facebook friends are the first to know when your kid has peed in the potty, lost a tooth, or was suspended from school from urinating in the bushes at recess. (That's just an example, people.)

17. When listening to a voicemail from your mother, you’re likely to FaceTime your mom with your child front and center with an orange wedge smile screaming “THANK YOU FOR THE ORANGES, GRANDMA!” 

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18. You have a love-hate relationship with Pinterest. No matter how sad your creations turn out, you always go back for more punishment. Kid craft anyone?

19. Paperless Post is your go-to for sending out birthday party invites. Stationery? Stamps? Yes, but the virtual kind!

20. You ask yourself more times than you’d like to admit: “Do I sound just like my mother? AM I BECOMING MY MOTHER??” You slowly realize you are, but you’ve made a vow to never wear mom jeans. Ever. (Unless they make a comeback of course.)

Which of these signs describe you?


Image via © iStock.com/Vernon Wiley


About the Author: Ashley Alteman is known for her love of dinosaurs, ponies wearing sweaters, and overuse of commas. She is an editor’s nightmare. She won a spelling bee in the 8th grade for correctly spelling “carrot” and knew from that moment she was destined to be an amazing journalist, or a sarcastic blogger; she went with the latter. Ashley details her laugh-out-loud parenting and personal fails at SmashleyAshley.com and is a regular contributor at BLUNTmoms.com. Follow Smash on Facebook.

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