16 Signs That You're an Older Mom

baby boomer mom There's nothing like being the mother of a couple rambunctious toddlers when all your friends are empty nesting ... or becoming grandparents. Welcome to the life of an older mom.

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At 48, with two toddlers (and a grown daughter), I’m one of those moms who's raising young kids at mid-life. Here are some signs you're an older mom too:

  1. You have an arsenal of responses to people who ask, “Are you their grandma?” about your own kids.
  2. You don’t make a big deal out of potty accidents because sneezing and laughing make you pee your pants, too. It happens.

    More From The Stir: 7 Types of Parents You'll Meet at the Playground

  3. You rely on your third-grader for help programming the DVR and teaching you “the Twitters.”
  4. You’re really freakin’ excited that everyone calls your stretchy britches “yoga pants.” This makes you feel like a cool and hip mom -- even though you don’t actually do yoga because you can get downward with the dog … but you can’t get back up.
  5. You tell your kids how lucky they are to have Google because you had to use the World Book encyclopedia for school projects ... at a library.
  6. You roll your eyes at Millennial Moms for making up B.S. phrases like “helicopter parenting."
  7. You need Urban Dictionary to understand what the hell other moms at your kid’s school are saying. As far as you’re concerned, “totes adorbs” refers to a cute bag.
  8. You’re okay with your son's friends calling you Ma’am because in your day, it was basic politeness.
  9. You tell the kids to put their juice boxes in the icebox.
  10. You think baloney and cheese on white bread served with Cheetos and a cup of Hawaiian Punch is a balanced meal. (There’s real fruit in that punch, okay?)
  11. Your kids stare blankly when you talk about stuff like floppy disks and the smell of mimeograph.
  12. When your kid gets sick, you reach for the Tylenol. No way you're using the combination of lavender and oil of spider snot the essential oils rep at the PTO insists will cure his crud.

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  13. You haven't figured out when they started handing out goody bags at birthday parties, but you think they're ridiculous.
  14. Your kids raid your closet on “80’s Day” because some of your clothes have been around that long.

  15. You can’t sneak up on your kids because the pop and creak of your joints is freakin’ noisy … might as well be a cowbell

  16. When your kid mentions One Direction, you picture this:

one way sign

 

Even though you’re getting older, embarrassing your kids never gets old. Ever.

What's a telltale sign that you've met a older mom on playground?

 

Images via © iStock.com/knape; shutterstock

 

About the Author: Jill Robbins is a wannabe wine snob and a lazy runner. She has a degree in social psychology which has so far been unhelpful in understanding the behavior of her husband and three children. She writes about adoption, motherhood and midlife on her blog, Ripped Jeans and Bifocals. Jill is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post, Babble and Blunt Moms and she's also been featured on The Washington Post, Scary Mommy, Mamapedia Voices, and In the Powder Room. Her print publications include the December 2014 issue of Mamalode and Only Trollops Shave Above the Knees as well as two more upcoming anthologies about motherhood. Jill was a member of the 2015 Austin cast of Listen to Your Mother and is a BlogHer 2015 Voice of the Year. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

 

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