10 Times Parenting a Teen Makes an Empty Nest Look So Good​

teenage driverBack when my first child was little, I used to roll my eyes when more experienced parents would say things to me like, "Oh, you think it's hard now, just wait until she's a teenager!" But now that approximately 13 years have passed, um, well, I get it. Raising a teenager is some crazy stuff, y'all -- and that whole "birds & bees" conversation parents of young children dread? That's only the tip of the horrifically awkward and uncomfortable adolescent iceberg.

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Indeed, the universally maligned sex talk ain't nothing compared to the following milestones in teen parenting. If you're lucky, you'll manage to avoid the worst of these, but even the most fortunate among us rarely get to escape them all. Here are 10 moments for parents of teens that totally trump the "birds and the bees" in terms of sheer horror:
 
 
1. Realizing you can't read your Victoria's Secret catalogue because the pages are suspiciously stuck together. 
 
Um, you didn't really need a new push-up bra anyway.
 
2. Discovering the vodka from that bottle in your liquor cabinet tastes a whole heckuva lot like water.
 
We bet your mother would say this one is karma.
 
3. Tidying up your kid's room and finding out that Pringles can is actually ... a bong.
 
Which means there's probably a real can of Pringles around somewhere.
 
4. Getting a revealing text from your kid that was obviously meant for one of her friends.
 
You didn't even think she knew what that word meant!
 
5. Giving in to the temptation to go through the "history" on his computer.
 
Just. Don't. Do. It.
 
6. Getting a call from your kid's school asking where he is ... when you dropped him off that morning.
 
And yet another generation perfects the old "in the front door, out the back" trick.
 
7. Actually listening to the lyrics of her favorite song.
 
What?! What does she mean, they "ain't even gonna make it to dis club"?!?!
 
8. Noticing a brand new dent in the car door after your kid drove it "straight to the library and back."
 
Just keep telling yourself fender benders really do happen in library parking lots. Well, they do!
 
9. Getting a call from your kid's BFF's mom asking what time her daughter will be home from the sleepover ... when you thought your kid was sleeping over her house.
 
Okay, whose parents are out of town?! 
 
 
10. Being asked by your kid "if you ever did anything bad" when YOU were a teenager.
 
Uhhhhh ... no comment?
 
What are you dreading even more than the "birds and bees" talk?


Image via shutterstock
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