13 'Single Mom' Stereotypes That Sound Like Something Out of 'Mad Men'

mom childThink about the term "single mom." What comes to mind? To many, it's a stereotype -- a stereotype filled with the same kind of thing that's in a gas station cupcake. Crap. As if single moms don't have enough poop to worry about (we are the only ones changing the diapers), we deal with it from others. And so, we have to laugh about it. Here are 13 things being a single mom says about your parenting (according to some).

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Now before you read and get angry, know this is all in jest. But I know you single mamas will get it -- you haven't lost your sense of humor. These are the insane thoughts others have about single moms.

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1. We are scanning your husbands wondering who would make the best sugar daddy and new Papa for our young. Because, you know, we think the grass is greener. Got rid of one husband, on to the next.

2. We cannot be trusted. Shhh. Don't spill your secrets to that single mom "friend." Don't engage her with any mommyisms you may have. Her marriage ended. She clearly doesn't take oaths seriously.

3. We are, like, not so smart, like, so much oh em gee, like, it's not even like we can 'splain, like, what we mean, you know? We shouldn't be trusted with our own kids or your kids, which means no playdates with the children of divorce.

4. Our kids live in a broken home. Broken windows. Broken dishes. Broken hearts. Broken, broken.

5. We are desperate. So desperate we pretend we don't have kids sometimes because we so desperately need a man.

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6. We are selfish. How dare we end a marriage when there are kids involved?! We are clearly only thinking about ourselves. Because it's so much better to stay in a loveless/abusive/whatever the issue was kind of relationship because that is a healthier environment for kids than a (gasp) broken home.

7. We failed. We got a big fat F at life. We failed God. We failed our kids. We failed ourselves. We failed our ex-husbands. We failed our parents. And we failed our judgmental friends.

8. Single moms are dangerous. It's like we're walking around with red lace crotch-less panties on with sparkle all over our bodies, Viagra on our breath, attempting to lure defenseless men (and other kids' dads) into our single mom trap.

9. We must get our money from a questionable source. Maybe we pickpocket married moms' purses at the park.

10. We are screwed. As in we are sluts! And also as in doomed. Doomed, I say! We will never ever ever find love again. We had it once, and we are a fool for thinking we could ever have it again. Our happily ever after moment passed. We are such bad role models for our kids.

11. Our kids are screwed. Because we are so screwed. It's all our fault. Everything. The knots in our kid's hair. The fact that our kid forgot her library book. That jelly stain on our son's shirt. It's all because we got divorced.

12. We are not as good as married mothers. It must be because we don't have the same last name. Oh my goodness! The last name. We wear our different name like a Scarlet Letter. The shame.

13. We must have given up on marriage too easily. Because three bathtubs full of tears are easy to fill. Because something must be wrong with us and our kids.

Let me make this clear: None of these things are true. Making fun at the stereotypes, I hope, makes others see how ridiculous and untrue they are. There are many single moms who have inspired me, allowed me to see that I will get through the hard times. That a marriage ending doesn't change the amazing mother that you are. There are things that are harder, that is for sure, but loving your kids and putting them first always comes easy.

Have you been victimized by some of these stereotypes, too?

 

Image via SunKids/shutterstock

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