Our 20 Least Favorite Motherhood Moments

The first smile, that first giggle out loud, the way the top of a baby’s head smells ... babies are just the best. But it’s not all glitter and sunshine. There are some really rough moments to survive. Here are the 20 hardest parts of having a baby, according to the Scary Mommy community ...

  1. An inconsolable baby. Whether from gas bubbles, colic, teething pain, attachment issues, or plain ol' crankiness, sometimes babies just cry. And cry. And cry. And cry. And cry.
  2. Fear of being a shitty mother. The feeling of inadequacy and helplessness when #1 happens.
  3. The fight to get your baby to sleep. Sleep training is some bullshit. All the way up to middle school, bedtime is your new battleground.
  4. Poop. And everything to do with poop. You’ve never thought about poop so much in your life. What color it is. What consistency it is. How much of it there is. Or isn’t. Where it IS versus where it should be. How to clean it up. From every available surface. Because diaper blow-outs happen.
  5. The unending rollercoaster of feelings. Emotional isn’t even the word for your state of being during this time. You cry when you’re happy. You cry when you’re sad. You cry when you’re in between. You cry because you’re crying and don’t know why. You thought this shit was supposed to be over after pregnancy, but it’s ohhhh so not. Let the mascara roll and splurge on the good tissues.
  6. The 42 tons of baby gear involved in leaving the house for ANYTHING. There is no more “run to the store right quick.” Ever. If you don’t have a good-sized car trunk, you might be up at 3 a.m. while you simultaneously pump and surf Google for the permits involved in owning a pack mule.
  7. The responsibility epiphany. One day it will hit you -- you are responsible for another human life, among the rest of your grown-up chores, like work and your car payment and sweeping the floor and keeping yourself alive. The weight of that feeling of responsibility can feel crushing, almost overwhelming sometimes.
  8. Boob stuff. To breastfeed. Not to breastfeed. Feed-shaming. Covers, no covers. Cracked and bleeding nipples. Pumping nightmares. Areolas the size of helicopter landing pads. Leaky boobs. Milk knots. Deflation and gravity.
  9. The money tree. What? You don’t have one of those? You need to plant one! Babies are expensive as shit. Baby gear, baby food, sitters, daycare, medical expenses, diapers, bottles, formula, wipes, baby-proofing gear. It can feel like there’s no end.
  10. Loss of friends. Becoming a parent often creates a barrier between you and your child-free friends, as much as we’d like for it to be otherwise. It happens. And when it does, it can be a loss that’s felt deeply.
  11. Loss of intimacy with your partner. Beyond the sex drive or lack thereof, that spark is hard to keep lit when you can’t keep your eyes open once your head hits the pillow. Keeping those flames fanned can require a lot of work and effort, from both sides.
  12. Post-baby body. The post-baby body is a testament to the wonder that is human biology. It also keeps cosmetic surgeons in business, not to mention the yoga pants industry.
  13. All the pee. No, not the baby’s pee -- Mommy’s new-found bladder control issues. I pee when I sneeze. I pee when I cough. I pee when I laugh. I pee when I breathe sometimes.
  14. Laundry. All the laundry. All the time. So. Much. Laundry. It never ends. And if you blink, it multiplies right in front of your eyes.
  15. Car rides. Leaving the house for whatever reason is zero fun anymore. Because car seats. And screaming babies. And spit-up on the seat straps that dries and smells up the entire interior of the car. ForEVER. At least it matches that splotch of spit-up you didn’t realize was on the shoulder of your shirt the entire time you were out.

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  16. Shots. Nobody likes shots. Nobody. In the history of the world, there has never been one documented case of any human being who’s ever admitted to enjoying being on the receiving end of an immunization shot. But you know who likes them the least? It’s not your baby. It’s the poor parent who’s got to sit there in agony while you pay someone to cause your child pain.
  17. Loneliness. Motherhood, while being very rewarding and fulfilling, can also be really lonely. Not everyone has a clique of mom friends to hang out with, and not everyone feels supported at home. It can be isolating and contribute to depression. It can intensify feeling dependent on your partner and can compound the sense of loss of self and freedom. People aren’t meant to exist in a vacuum, and we crave adult interaction on the regular.
  18. The Mommy Wars. Between the mom-shaming and unsolicited advice from every other uterus under the sun, is it any wonder that #2, 10, and 11 are so overwhelming? We put enough pressure on ourselves, we don’t need to entertain it from others too.
  19. Feeling like you always have to be “on.” There is nothing quite like the first time you break down in a sobbing rant, admitting that you don’t know what the hell you’re doing and that babies aren’t made of rainbows and unicorn kisses after all and that you need a break ... and having the person you’re talking to gasp and recoil in horror. How DARE you not love every second of every day of the grand privilege of mothering this gorgeous specimen of babycakes??? What kind of a monster isn’t grateful for the opportunity to be elbow-deep in shitty diapers for hours on end with a baby semi-permanently attached to your tit while you try to remember the last time you brushed your teeth?!
  20. Always being wet. From leaky boobs to pee to spit-up to spilled bottles and sippy cups to baby slobber to tears, there is ALWAYS some kind of wet spot going on that probably should be cleaned up, and it’s usually on your person somewhere.

Image via Scary Mommy

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