Anything Moms Can Do, Dads Can Do Faster

funny dad riding bikeThere are plenty of things dads do much better than moms (swing their kids up with their arms to death-defying heights; swaddling...). But other things? Other things might be better left to the mamas. It isn’t even that mothers are necessarily better at these things, they’re just more ... meticulous. Some may even say to a fault.

Yes, long-gone are the days of the completely clueless father who leaves all parenting responsibilities to his wife, but there's no denying the fact that dudes take a much more straight-forward approach when it comes to things pertaining to the kids. 

Here, the differences between how moms and dads handle parenting:

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Leaving the house:

Mom's Way:

-Pack snacks.

-Pack toys.

-Make sure stain stick is in diaper bag.

-Double check that everyone has gone potty and/or has been changed.

-Wipe any random, sticky food remnants off of child's face.

-Quickly brush kiddo's mangy hair (while chasing kiddo).

-Attempt to find matching shoes. Not always successful. 

-Actually leave the house.

Dad's Way: 

-Throw a diaper in his pocket and roll out.  

Holding a newborn:

Mom's Way:

-Make sure hands are sanitized to operating room standards.  

-Make sure hands aren't too cold after sanitizing process. 

-Position the hand just so, so baby's delicate head is properly supported.

-Adopt super high-pitched voice.

-Commence bouncing.

Dad's Way:

-Hold the baby. Seriously, how much harder can be it than a football?

Getting the kids dressed:

Mom's Way:

-Make sure onesie and pants match.

-Find cute little socks to boot.

-Ensure she's got on one layer extra than an adult would, as that's what the experts say.

-If it's a new outfit, take pictures and send to whomever bought the outfit.

-Have a back-up outfit handy in case of an accident. 

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Dad's Way:

-Grab whatever's closest.

Dinner time:

Mom's Way:

-Get out the bibs.

-Clean while cooking (and of course afterwards).

-Entertain baby while cooking ("Mama's taking out the bowl now!").

-Try to coax baby and/or toddler to eat.

-Feel crestfallen if child refuses the fresh, organic feast prepared.

Dad's Way:

-Offer baby food.

-If baby doesn't eat, they're not hungry. Who would force someone to eat?!

Noticing a rash on baby:

Mom's Way:

-Inspect.

-Google.

-Call doctor.

-Text friends to see if their babies ever had what her baby has.

-Google more.

Dad's Way:

-Call Mom.

When brand-new baby is sleeping:

Mom's Way:

-Check to see if baby is breathing.

-Take a few pictures of sleeping baby.

-Pick up the house. 

-Try to sleep.

-Repeat.

Dad's Way:

-Zzzzzz ...

Picking up the playroom:

Mom's Way: 

-Pick up doll clothes. 

-Dress dolls. 

-Put dolls back in doll car seats and doll carriages. 

-Put stuffed animals in stuffed animal bin. 

-Put Legos in Lego bin. 

-Put crayons in tin and set next to drawing pads and coloring books. 

-Remove any random, non-toy items from the playroom. 

Dad's Way:

-Throw toys into toy bin. 

When baby starts crying while mom or dad is in shower:

Mom's Way:

-Turn off shower to double check that baby is in fact crying.

-Debate getting out of shower with head full of shampoo. 

-Think better of it.

-Remove shampoo at the speed of light.

-Forgo lotion, deodorant, etc. 

-Scoop up baby while still in towel.  

Dad's Way:

-Finish shower as usual, then grab baby. 

Doing kids' laundry:

Mom's Way:

-Separate clothes. 

-Wash with organic baby detergent. 

-Lay out super cute items, as not to shrink them in the dryer. 

-Load the rest in the dryer and run dryer.

-Fold laundry. 

-Put away in respective drawers. 

Dad's Way:

-Throw clothes in washer. 

-Throw clothes in dryer. 

Bath time:

Mom's Way:

-Lay out towel.

-Lay out wash cloth.

-Gather bath toys.

-Fetch shampoo and body wash.

-Test temperature a few times. 

-Drape wash cloth over baby so he doesn't get cold. 

-Spike baby's hair with shampoo.

-Take 500 pictures. 

-Top off with a soothing massage and song. Possibly by candlelight.

Dad's Way:

- Poop and spit-up gone? Then it's all good. 

How do you and your spouse differ when it comes to parenting? 


Image via © iStock.com/sturti

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