10 Inappropriate Coloring Books for Kids

Judy Dutton | Oct 6, 2014 Being a Mom

Coloring books are typically filled with puppies, princesses, you know, happy things! Which is why we were surprised to find more than a few coloring books filled with, ahem, more mature content inappropriate for kids. To be fair, some of these tomes make it clear that they're "adults-only" or "PG-rated" material, but others welcome tots of all ages, and introduce them to everything from Satan to sex, terrorism to taxes. So, odds are you'll want to keep them far, far away from your eager little artists, lest you want them picking up some weird ideas along with their Crayola crayons.

Honestly, what kid (or adult) would want book #8?


Image © Sharie Kennedy/LWA/Corbis

  • Satanic Coloring Book

    1

    Image via The Satanic Temple

    Don't be fooled by the innocuous cover; this book is evil through and through. In The Satanic Children's BIG BOOK of Activities, kids can connect the dots to create a pentagram, color in bookshelves filled with Satanic literature, and decode secret demonic messages. So fun!

     

     

  • Coloring Book of Cocks

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    Image via Amazon

    Have your kids graduated beyond calling male genitals "peepees"? Then perhaps they're ready for the The Big Coloring Book of Cocks, featuring phalluses capped, cut, pierced, tattooed, crooked or bulbous, plus an "all about my cock" section. Or not. 

  • Coloring Book of Vaginas

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    Image via Amazon

    Just in case you and your lady parts feel left out of the coloring book craze, rest assured The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas leaves nothing to the imagination! Your little girl will learn that those nether regions range from fleshly-shaven to wildly hairy, "soft spoken" to "in your face." Not sure exactly what "in your face" means, but we don't think little girls should hear that.

  • 9/11 Coloring Book

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    Image via Amazon

    It's totally understandable that parents want their kids to understand the importance of 9/11, which must be how the coloring book We Shall Never Forget 9/11 came about. Still, the book contains some shockingly graphic images, including one depicting the death of Osama bin Laden with a man holding a machine gun to his head. Um, which your kid can color.

  • Terrorism Coloring Book

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    In case that 9/11 coloring book has your kids clamoring for more, there's The True Faces of Evil -- Terror, where kids can color in pics of Islamic terrorists, Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, and a crucified Christian alongside the message: "This is what ISIS wants to bring to America and its people. What are you going to do when they come for you?"

  • Color Me Drunk

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    Image via Amazon

    Since kids aren't quite ready to play beer pong or drunk dial their exes, this Color Me Drunk coloring book should keep them busy until then! Activities also include drawing "regrettable" tattoos and loopy, Picasso-esque portraits of friends.

     

     

  • Gangsta Rap Coloring Book

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    Image via Amazon

    Ah, the innocence of coloring books juxtaposed with the grittiness of rap. In the Gangsta Rap Coloring Book, kids get to color in drawings of Biggie, Pac, 50 Cent, and others alongside their mini-biographies.

  • Tax Shelter Coloring Book

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    Image via Amazon

    As the Tax Shelter Coloring Book makes clear, it's never too soon to teach kids ways to save money! And hiding it from the IRS totally counts. 

     

     

  • Unicorns Are Jerks

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    Image via Amazon

    If your little girl or boy thinks unicorns are magical, mystical creatures, the Unicorns Are Jerks coloring book will destroy their innocence, permanently, with pictures showing them texting in theaters, farting in elevators, and other offensive behavior.

  • The Pat Robertson and Friends Coloring Book

    10

    Image via Amazon

    Pat Robertson and his pals (George W., Jerry Falwell, Ann Coulter) get their own coloring book because, well, who can argue with this ultra-conservative politician's belief that "75 to 80 percent of the illnesses in the United States are psychosomatic?" Also comes with a Pat Robertson paper doll. Whatever you or your kids do with it, we don't want to know.

    More from The Stir: 15 Unintentionally Hilarious & Inappropriate Kid Drawings (PHOTOS)

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