Your Toddler Caught You Having Sex: Now What?

Here's the scenario: You're going at it. All of a sudden, mid-thrust or mid-moan (for extra embarrassment), you hear a little voice. "Mommy, what are you and daddy doing?"

You have three choices: Run and hide, lie, or offer an explanation on the fly ("Daddy and I just wresting, honey!"). Then stress-out for months afterward about whether your child will be emotionally scarred for life.

But, there's a better way to do it (not talking sex tips here ... focus ... this is about keeping your kid from telling his whole preschool daddy's penis hurt you last night). You can get caught having sex and survive. It is possible.


As tempting as it can be to lie or ignore the whole OMG-we-got-caught-doing-the-naughty situation, Fran Walfish, Psy.D., Beverly Hills expert panelist on the WE television series Sex Box (premiering early 2015), says you have to deal with what your toddler saw otherwise it becomes the proverbial pink elephant (with blinking neon sex district lights) in the room. "The images that caught your child's mind's eye will remain in her mind and memory," she says. "Talking it through helps your child process the information, resolve it, and put it into proper perspective."

Try to figure out exactly what your toddler witnessed. Say, "Sweetheart, when you walked in to mommy and daddy's room, what did you see or hear?" When he responds, you can discuss his feelings and alleviate his fears. "The strong likelihood is that your little one did not see the actual entry of daddy's penis into mommy's vagina," says Walfish. "What he probably saw was rubbing and humping of hips and groin. You can say something like, 'You know, when a mommy and daddy love each other they hug, kiss, and play games that feel good and look different than kid's games. You walked in and saw us in the middle of the hugging and rubbing game that only grown-ups play.'"

More from The Stir: 10 Hilarious Ways Parents Have Explained Sex When Kids Caught Them in the Act

Once you've talked about the sexcapade with your toddler, move on. Don't act differently -- even if you are dying of embarrassment inside. That will only create tension, guilt, and put a wedge between you and your kid. The best way to make your child feel safe, secure, and comfortable is to act natural and as if everything is the same, fine and dandy.

One day it will be again. Promise.

Did your child ever catch you having sex?

Image via © Larry Williams/Corbis
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