25 Things Only Moms of Boys Worry About

Little boys keep their moms on their toes -- sometimes on their tippy toes as they try to wade through their rooms to find the source of that smell. And this truly is 24/7 ... because they don't seem to require sleep.

Yes, there are definitely lots of crazy things you'll deal with that weren't described in any of the boy books you read. Have you ever hid the latest issue of National Geographic because of his obsession with boobies? Come on, own it.

Here are 25 things only moms of boys have to worry about.

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  1. Finding dirty magazines (yup, certain issues of National Geographic count) under his bed.
  2. Sending him to the men's room alone. Seriously, they don't want you in there.
  3. Epic farting contests. Boys truly are superior when it comes to farting on command, clearing a room, and generally having enough gas to make you gag at any moment.
  4. Fingernails that are never fully clean ... and grow like weeds just to accentuate the dirt and your ineptitude of wrestling him into position to cut said fingernails.
  5. Turning every household object into a sword.
  6. Obsessive Superhero Imitation Syndrome.

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  7. Taking a flying leap off the bed to "practice dunking" -- no basketball hoop required.
  8. Whipping out his penis to pee ... just because he can. Boys love peeing anywhere but a bathroom.
  9. Little boy funk smell. It's a combination of body odor and maple syrup.
  10. Fake showers. Some boys act like they actually shower and wash up but they don't. Instead, they make funny faces at themselves in the mirror and skip the whole getting clean thing. Do not fall for this trick, moms.
  11. If one day you will be replaced by another woman with an anti-mom-in-law stance.
  12. Boners.
  13. Creative ways they tend to boners (running water in the bathtub, humping the mattress, touching it constantly).
  14. If eating dirt will mess up his intestines.
  15. Yelling "boobies" at the dinner table.
  16. Touching your boobies, wearing your bra on his head, and generally bringing them up in conversation any chance he gets. 
  17. Getting peed on. A lot.
  18. Scrubbing caked-on pee off the bathroom mirror.
  19. Washing their hair at 2 a.m. because they managed to pee on their own heads.
  20. Worms randomly appearing in your kitchen while you try to make dinner.
  21. An innate fascination with guns. Much to your chagrin.
  22. Really smelly laundry. And stains that are nothing short of badass.
  23. If he's hoarding a reptile under his bed.
  24. If there's some sort of scientific explanation for why his sneakers stink so bad.
  25. Tearing up because they're infatuated with their moms. "You look beautiful, mommy." "I want to marry you, mommy." "Mommy, I love your hair." Aaaaaawwwwwww ...

What does your little boy make you worry about?


Image via © Lisa B./Corbis
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