10 Hilarious Ways Parents Have Explained Sex When Kids Caught Them in the Act

We've all been there. Some of us even shoulder a double whammy of trauma being caught in the act and having the image of our parents doing it burned in our memories.

I am talking about sex, baby.

Specifically, your kids walking in and getting an eyeful of you in your full glory, doing the naughty with wild abandon. That kind of sex ... the kind that keeps therapists in business.

We might have panicked when our own kids caught us having sex, but now we can laugh at these cringe-worthy moments ... especially when they've happened to someone else.*

Here, 10 hilarious stories.

*Names have been omitted to protect the innocent.

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  1. We were so into it that we didn't hear my daughter come in our room until she literally said in my ear, "Mommy, what are you doing?" I was so floored that I told her we were wrestling.
  2. I was giving my husband a blow job when my kids burst through the door without knocking. They were young. All I could think of was telling them I was practicing bobbing for apples ... like they do on Halloween. It was so funny!
  3. I told my 4-year-old that mommy just rolled over and gave daddy a big old hug to start his day. My daughter said, "I want one too, mommy!" And that was the end of our morning quickie.
  4. I am not the quietest when I have sex. We wait until the kids go to bed for that reason. Anyway, I was moaning like a porn star and my son woke up somehow (I refuse to take the blame). He ran into our room, scared, and said, "Mommy, are you okay? What's daddy doing to you?" I thought I would die of embarrassment.
  5. My daughter always waits for me to get out of the shower (she fell when she was little, so it's just a comfort thing for her to hold my hand as she steps out). I thought I was safe to attack my boyfriend during shower time, but I was wrong. Of course she decided to conquer her fear and get out of the shower herself while I was on top of my boyfriend, completely naked, in a reverse cowgirl position on the family room couch. OMG. She burst into tears, ran into her room, and we never spoke of it again.
  6. One time my son was talking to me in the car when he blurted, "Mommy, I saw daddy's hairy butt on top of you. What were you doing?" I have no idea when he saw us, but he definitely saw us. Horrified.

    More from The Stir: What to Do When Your Kids Catch You Having Sex

  7. I was having sex with my boyfriend when my daughter walked in. It was the middle of the night, so she was disoriented. Advantage: me. I convinced her that she saw nothing, she went back to bed ... and I got back to business.
  8. One night, we lit candles, put some romantic music on, and locked our door to have sex after the kids went to bed. The next day over breakfast, our teenagers couldn't stop giggling. "What were you doing last night?" they snickered. Actually, they howled. They knew their parents were having sex and thought it was so hilarious. I totally laughed. What else could I do?
  9. I was holding onto the head board for support, if you know what mean. It made some noise, banging on the wall. The next morning, my little boy -- with a Bob the Builder obsession -- comes in our room with his toolkit and says he needs to fix my bed. 
  10. We decided to escape to the bedroom while the kids were watching a movie. I gave them popcorn and candy to buy us a little time. Well, five minutes into it, there's a knock on the door to settle a dispute about the candy. I was breathless and didn't want to stop. My husband yelled, "Settle it yourselves!" They responded, "Why?" And, unbelievably, he said, "Because your mother and I are having sex. We will come out when we are finished." For the first time in our lives as parents, all we heard was the sound of crickets.

Have your kids ever walked in on you having sex?


Image via © Anthony Asael/Art in All of Us/Corbis

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