30 Questions Only Moms of Boys Ask

Ah, little boys. They definitely make us scratch our heads, don't they?

Is it their obsession with body slamming off of any surface that makes them so interesting? Or their penchant for all things potty humor? Of course, it could be their willingness to try gum stuck on the bottom of their shoe, their love of long-distance peeing competitions, or their sheer determination to break at least one glass item a week that makes them intriguing. Who else shares deep thoughts with an earthworm with the enthusiasm of a boy?

From their boundless energy to the doe-eyed look they master to make their moms melt, boys are endlessly fascinating. Here are 30 questions only moms of boys ask ... over and over and over.


1. What's up with his boob obsession?

2. At what age do I stop letting him cop a feel?

3. Is there some genetic mutation that makes him contemplate life while taking a poop?

4. Do I look the other way when he whips his penis out in public?

5. How the hell do I get him to keep it in his pants?

6. Will it get chafed from touching it so much?

7. What's the ER co-pay again?

8. How do I best remove the crusted orange urine on the back of the toilet lid?

9. Did I really just see dirt in his butt crack? 

10. How did he get those eyelashes?

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11. Can I get some of that amazing stuff that makes his nails grow?

12. OMG. Is that a boner?

13. Does he realize he has a boner?

14. Should I just tell him that I do, in fact, pee out of my butt?

15. Why must I play basketball at 6 a.m.?

16. Can I get an insurance policy for my flatscreen?

17. Do you really think I can run faster than that?

18. Does he have a crush on that kid's mom? WTF?

19. Is he done eating yet?

20. Did that disgusting fart really come out of his cute little butt?

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21. What's a normal amount of burping?

22. Is there any chance of the toilet seat crashing down on his penis?

23. How do I get him to stop laughing at the word 'penis'?

24. How is it possible that he only needs one pair of shoes?

25. Seriously, how did he just fix my laptop?

26. Why must he pee in the yard?

27. Where's the gel to kill that cowlick?

28. When will I break it to him that I can't marry him?

29. Does he really like that girl?

30. How will he ever love her more than his mommy?

Which questions do you have to add to the list?

Image via © Oliver Rossi/Corbis

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