My Toddler Isn't That Bright: There, I Said It

I realize that three-year-olds aren't supposed to develop unified field theories. Still, judging by some of the things my daughter believes, she's one light bulb short of a box.

My wife thinks these beliefs are not only normal, but adorable and that I need to STFU. She's probably right. Still, I'm no longer banking on that college scholarship.

Here are 10 signs my daughter isn't a child genius.




She believes:

  1. That Dora the Explorer, and everyone else on TV or our iPad, is physically inside the device and watching her.
  2. That the sun goes to sleep at night.
  3. That she saw Mickey Mouse himself skating at "Disney on Ice."
  4. That you can buy money.
  5. That if it takes 30 minutes to drive somewhere, the return trip can be accomplished in 30 seconds.
  6. That she can get sucked down a bathtub drain.
  7. That chicken on a menu only coincidentally shares a name with chicken in a petting zoo.
  8. That she sometimes catches us saying "Oh, frog!"
  9. The moon can be reached with strong-enough legs.
  10. That I actually have her nose.

Is your child not so smart?

Image via Corey Levitan

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