10 Differences Between Novice Moms & Pro Moms

There are few things easier than spotting a novice mom in a crowd. Why? Because, at one point, we were all first time moms worrying about every little fall or spill. The pro moms, however? Ain't nobody got time for that ...


1. The baby sneezed two minutes ago ...

The Novice Mom: Has already taken his temperature using three different methods, placed a call into the pediatrician, and is considering a trip to the ER.

The Pro Mom: Felt his forehead, deemed it in the 99 degree range and used her sleeve to wipe his nose.

2. The baby drops her binky ...

The First Time Mom: Picks it up, sterilizes it in the kitchen, lets it air dry, and then gives it back to her.

The Pro Mom: Lets the dog lick it off and pops it back in her mouth.

3. He has some food on his shirt. That means ...

The First Time Mom: Immediate wardrobe change.

The Pro Mom: Nothing. Why make more laundry when he’ll spill something else in two minutes?

4. The baby book is ...

The First Time Mom: Filled with photos and the exact date and time of each milestone.

The Pro Mom: In the box of baby stuff, in the attic, never filled out. Most likely.  

5. It's time for the office party and a sitter is needed. Who is that sitter?

The First Time Mom: The grandparents, along with a list of resources, websites and constant calls to check in.

The Pro Mom: The random waitress who seemed sweet last weekend at that new brunch place you tried.

6. How often are the kids bathed?

The First Time Mom: At least once a day, sometimes more.

The Pro Mom: When they smell bad enough that it can't be masked with Febreeze.

7. It’s birthday time!

 The First Time Mom: Has planned a party that will have the Pinterest Gods singing her praises. Custom printed invitations and decorations, overflowing goody bags, a professional photographer and a bounce castle.

The Pro Mom: Grabs a cake from the grocery store and sings happy birthday at the dinner table. Hopefully.

8. The kids are starving mid-errands. Lunch is eaten at ...

The First Time Mom: A park. A healthy lunch has been packed in Tupperware along with a big blanket to sit on.

The Pro Mom: A burger joint with an indoor play place for them and 20 minutes of peace for mom.

9. The baby eats ...

The First Time Mom: Fresh, organic fruits and veggies from the local farmer’s market.

The Pro Mom:  Smashed up versions of whatever mom's having.

10. Portraits are taken ...

The First Time Mom: At least once a season. They grow so fast!

The Pro Mom: At school, once a year, if they ever get ordered.

Which mom are you?

Image via Scary Mommy

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