8 Ways My Parenting Totally Fell Apart During Winter Break

Today was the first day my kids went back to school since winter break started on December 23. Before that, school was closed for five days due to snow (Oregon's a little goosey about bad weather). Before that, we had Thanksgiving week off in its entirety.

What I'm saying is that I ran out of wholesome Pinterest-worthy kid activities that require my participation a LONG time ago. Honestly, there are only so many messy crafts and family-bonding outings a person can be expected to take part in. Plus, it's not like I've had all this time off from work -- I still have deadlines and deliverables, regardless of how many loud-ass children are swarming nearby.

Behold, the damning photographic evidence of my slacker parenting over the last couple weeks! Judge me if you must ... or secretly commiserate in some familiar sights from your own seemingly endless winter break.


My Laughable Early Attempt to Limit Screen Time.

Initially meant as a method of controlling the total amount of time they spent staring vacantly into various electronic devices. Quickly abandoned.

So Much Freaking Minecraft I Had to Charge the iPad More Than Once a Day? Check.

"Mom! Mom! I dug a really big pit and I built this fortress and I lined it with torches and --" "Mmm-hmmm, that's nice, dear."

Approximately One Billion Games of Super Mario Bros Played on a Vintage NES.

I justified their instant addiction to this Nintendo game from 1986 by the fact that it's the exact game I played when I was a kid. (This is totally known as the No Seatbelts/Back of Station Wagon defense.)

How Many Hours of Wild Kratts? Oh My God, So Many Hours.

In my defense, my 8-year-old learned that pigeons make milk from this show. I mean, seriously, pigeon milk -- did you have any idea there was such a thing?

Really Super Healthy Snacks. *Cough*

Shut up.

Ill-Advised Games That Never Ended Well.

There were at least 4,917 reasons it was a terrible idea to put this in the living room, and yet I did it anyway because I WAS SO DESPERATE.

Three Butt-Shaped Dents in the Downstairs Couch? Check, Check, Check.

This is what eventually passed for quality family time. Occasionally I threw a sandwich in their general direction.

Seriously, Just So, SO Much Wild Kratts.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have visible muscle atrophy!!!!

So, did your household devolve a little over winter break too?

Images via Linda Sharps

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