Why I’m Glad I Changed My Mind About Having a Second Child

When my eldest daughter was two years old, I went in for my annual girly doctor appointment. While discussing birth control options, I mentioned that I wanted to have my tubes tied. I was 22 years old at the time, had been married just over three years, and I knew that I never wanted to procreate again. I was at my wit’s end, man.

My lovely doctor didn’t bat an eyelash, and just said that that wasn’t something she normally liked to do for mothers of two-year-olds. I ended up with a Mirena instead, which I loved by the way. I’m so glad that I didn’t do anything permanent back then, because my second child has been a huge blessing in so many ways.


About a year later, I started toying with the idea of having a second. It wasn’t that I necessarily wanted another, but I didn’t want my firstborn to grow up an only child. I know there’s no guaranteeing that siblings will be close, or even speak to each other once they leave the house, but I wanted to give my daughter at least an opportunity for a lifelong relationship with someone that shared her DNA.

After a few months of really hemming and hawing over the idea, I ditched the birth control, and nine months later, gave birth to my second daughter.

It was the best decision I ever made.

My baby will be six in a few short months, and my daughters already have an amazing relationship. Even though they’re almost five years apart, they still like playing together. The age gap is pretty great, actually, since they’re far enough apart to not compete too much with each other, but still close enough to not be in completely separate worlds.

Especially now going through a divorce, I’m so grateful that they have each other. They will always be the two people on the planet that share the same two parents, and went through this experience through no fault of their own. They get each other in a way that no one else will ever be able to, and I’m so glad for that.

I love watching them fight like cats and dogs, or be annoyed with each other, or just generally squabble like siblings will, and in the next breath be fiercely protective of one another. I love watching their relationship grow and develop into something mature and wonderful. I love watching them be silly together.

I love that there are two of them, and I hope they always have each other.

Have you changed your mind about having more kids?


Image via Jenny Erikson

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