7 Children's Book Favorites That Contain Some Major Parenting Fails (PHOTOS)

love you foreverAw, there's nothing quite like reading our babies a sweet, classic children's book, right? One that our mamas and papas read to us when we were itty-bitty whips of things? So sweet. And such a rite of passage.

Except ... have you seen what's in these books?! They're doling out really shitty parenting advice in these things! I mean, sure, the illustrations are bar none -- and let's get real, babies are far too young to pick up on nuance -- but ... do not, parents, I repeat, do not duplicate what you see in these books on your own children. Do as Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein do, not as they write.

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Here are 7 children's books you should not take parenting advice from.

  • Goodnight Moon

    1

    Goodnight comb, and goodnight brush ...

    And goodnight, sweet bunny, forever, because you're going to bed with a fire lit in your room!

  • Harold and the Purple Crayon

    2

    Hmm ... letting the little one go to bed with a crayon, eh? Not so sure your pediatrician would like that. But if you must, please make sure your child has a non-toxic crayon made from four-leaf clovers and quinoa. Your child will probably die if he uses a regular crayon. I believe they sell boxes of the "safe stuff" on Amazon for $45. Oh, $45 is too much to spend on your child? Why do you hate him so much?

  • Green Eggs and Ham

    3

    I'm sorry, but what parent in their right mind would willingly serve their child tainted eggs and meat? Isn't that a form of child abuse? In fact, I'm sure Dr. Seuss himself would agree that serving your child anything but locally grown, organic fruits and veggies is one of the cruelest forms of parenting there is.

  • The Quiet Book

    4

    I think Dr. Sears would agree that trying to force your child to be quiet via manipulation goes against everything that attachment parenting stands for. Children should be able to speak and act freely, and at their will. This is on par with trying to put a baby on a schedule. Ridiculous.

  • Where the Wild Things Are

    5

    On the flip side, if you constantly shower your child with attention, and allow them to believe they are "king" or "queen," they will likely never become equipped to deal with problems in the real world.

  • Peter Rabbit

    6

     

     

    While nothing quite beats farm-to-table, I believe the FDA recommends washing all fruits and veggies before consumption. Also, that shovel looks dangerous.

  • Love You Forever

    7

    Helicopter parent alert! If you're still sneaking into your child's bedroom when he's over the age of 18, you've got issues. And so will he.

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