8 Things Only Parents of Toddlers Can Get Away With

little boyIn the almost eight years I've been a mom, I have to say that the time in my life where I had the pleasure of sitting still the least was definitely the toddler phase. I'm not all that ashamed to admit there were days when I wished he would grow up a little more quickly, simply because it's tough constantly trying to keep up with a pint-sized human being you can't let out of your sight for one single second.

But looking back -- I'm not sure I realized just how good I had it when he was a cherubic little 2-year-old who thought everything I said and did was the most amazing thing EVER. (Sniff, sniff.)

And aside from him adoring me, there are so many things I used to be able to do then without thinking twice than I can't pull off now.


Not convinced? Here are eight things you can do in front of your toddler -- that you have basically no chance of getting away with once he's a little older. (Embrace and enjoy this time. Trust me.)

  1. Shower -- You can strip down to your birthday suit and hop in and out of the shower in front of a toddler, and he won't bat an eyelash -- because he doesn't realize you have boobs. Or if he does, he's only known them as a source of food.
  2. Poop -- Ahh. Pooping in peace is a gift and a privilege as a mom. At least toddlers won't call you out for stinking up the bathroom, either because they simply don't notice, or are immune to the smell due to still being in diapers.
  3. Swear-- Drop those f-bombs now -- because once your tot can talk, he'll repeat everything you say. And as cute as it is for you to hear your kid say, "f&%k that" -- other people usually aren't as appreciative.
  4. Gossip-- When your husband comes home from work, you can sit and speculate over whether or not your friend's husband has another wife in another state -- and you don't have to worry about your child walking up and asking him about it the next time you all get together.
  5. Try on clothes -- You know what's really cool about toddlers? They can't tell that dressing room lights make you look 10 pounds heavier -- which means they won't call you out for it.
  6. Cry -- If you want to have a good sobbing session without having to explain or divulge what's upsetting you, a child between the ages of one and three is an ideal witness.
  7. Check Facebook (without feeling guilty) -- Because your toddler has no freakin' clue that you're even on the computer, let alone checking to see whether or not anyone liked the photo you just posted of him.
  8. Sing -- Feel like belting out your favorite tunes in the shower or singing along with the radio? Your toddler will probably find it entertaining versus embarrassing and cringe-worthy.

Is there anything you do now in front of your toddler that you're dreading having to stop doing when he's older?


Image via Mary Fischer

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