15 Things Only Crunchy Moms Worry About

Jonathan Kingston/Corbis

baby sleeping slingJonathan Kingston/Corbis

Crunchy mamas. Also known as granola, natural, earthy, or just plain old hippie moms. They are the gurus that don’t worry about whether Baby Einstein will turn their babies into TV addicts, because they probably don’t even own a set. They cloth diaper, co-sleep, and delay vaccinations -- if they don’t opt out entirely. But not everything is always roses, no matter how nutrient rich the organic compost is.

Here is a list of 15 things that only crunchy moms really worry about.

  1. Whole Foods might run out of your favorite brand of coconut oil.
  2. You missed the chicken pox party.
  3. You grieve your emergency C-section.
  4. Someone might feed your kids fruit snacks red dye 40 on a play date.
  5. Astronomical chiropractor fees from the strain of wearing your kids for years.
  6. Coordinating your sling with your kid’s teething necklace.
  7. Finding shoes to go out in because you don’t wear them at home.
  8. Your kids finding out about happy meals.
  9. Homeschooling or un-schooling?
  10. The store only has homogenized cow’s milk -- no raw, goat, or hemp milk anywhere!
  11. Your child might self-wean before age three.
  12. Your child might not self-wean by kindergarten.
  13. You forgot to do laundry and now you’re out of clean (cloth) diapers.
  14. You’re out of laundry soap and out of ingredients to make more.
  15. Is your homemade natural deodorant working, or is that your own B.O. you smell?

Do you worry about any of these things? Do you consider yourself a crunchy mama?

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