What the Top 5 Sanity-Saving Baby Products Should Really Be Called

Jenny Erikson | Oct 24, 2013 Being a Mom

Motherhood has a funny way of shifting our former judgments on other parents into the ability to make fun of ourselves. I can’t be the only one that’s referred to playpens as “toddler jail,” right? Right? Just keepin’ it real, folks.

Let’s face it -- there are some baby products out there that non-parents just can’t understand. Take the playpen example. Maybe some people can’t understand why you wouldn’t just wear your baby, or let them play nicely on the floor. The answer is that it’s freaking hard to open the oven when you have a baby strapped to your chest or crawling rapidly toward the door. So into baby jail she goes, and that’s what we call it, because if you don’t keep a sense of humor about things, what’s the point?

Here are five totally misnamed (and renamed) baby products that are parent lifesavers.

Do you have any to add to the list?

 

Image via Joshua Dalsimer/Corbis

  • Pacifier

    1

    AKA Nipple Replacement Therapy

    Because not even the crunchiest mamas can nurse 24/7.

     

  • Swaddle Blanket

    2

    AKA Baby Straight Jacket

    Hey, everyone knows that only trained maternity ward nurses can get those regular blankets wrapped tight enough to keep baby's limbsfrom flailing. 

  • Exersaucer

    3

    AKA the Circle of Neglect

    But look at all the fun toys on that thing! Throw on some cheerios and you're set to make dinner for the rest of your family. Or read a magazine. Whatever. I won't judge.

  • Bouncy Seat

    4

    AKA The Lazy Chair

    Lazy for mama, not for baby. One mom friend said, "I put my son in there, popped on a Baby Einstein, and read Us Weekley cover-to-cover for the first time in months. It was Heaven."

  • Toddler Tether

    5

    AKA the Leash

    Go ahead and call it a toddler tether, harness buddy, safety cord, kid keeper, tot-a-long, or whatever you want if it helps you sleep at night. It's a leash. And it's indispensible in crowds.

baby activities baby first year baby gear baby toys baby sleep newborns pacifiers play time for mom

More