Motherhood: Myth vs. Cold, Hard Reality (PHOTOS)

Jenny Erikson | Oct 21, 2013 Being a Mom

Before you're a parent, you know exactly how everything is going to go. Your kids will never, ever melt down in public, throw things for the sake of throwing them, hit their siblings, or tell you you're anything but perfect. Oh no, you've got this in the bag. You're not going to be like every parent before you, because you're so much smarter and more enlightened than them.

Then something really weird happens and you lose all those magical parenting superpowers ... you have kids. Seriously, has anything gone the way you planned when it comes to growing infants into functioning, independent human beings? If it has, I have seven words for you: Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Here are some of the things we expected to experience in motherhood, and the cold, hard reality we did instead.

What has been your most difficult reality in parenting?


Image via Ned Frisk/Corbis

  • Bedtime


    Expectation: Snuggly kids in matching pajamas, teeth brushed, quietly listening while you read aloud Little House on the Prairie.

    Reality: Tears of frustration -- and that’s just you! Meanwhile the kids are jumping on the bed in their underwear. Don’t even ask about the teeth.

  • Homework


    Expectation: The children will come home straight away from school and open up their backpacks, eager to get their work done because they know the benefits of work before play.

    Reality: Your older child (bless her heart) does your younger child’s read-aloud homework on the way to school.

  • Pets


    Expectation: They’ll teach the kids responsibility.

    Reality: You’re the one out with the dog in the rain at 10 p.m. while the kids are in bed (hopefully) sleeping.

  • Meals


    Expectation: Home-cooked meals with lots of vegetables.

    Reality: Chicken nuggets. Again. The dino-shaped ones.

  • Chores


    Expectation: Unpaid child labor for the win!

    Reality: You spend more time and energy getting them to do their chores than if you just did it yourself.

  • Dining Out


    Expectation: Your darlings will sit nicely and politely around the table, just like they do at home.

    Reality: You forgot your kids don’t do that at home. They are short, crazy people.

  • 'Me' Time


    Expectation: You’ll never be one of those moms who don’t take the time to recharge her batteries. A little space from the children is a necessity.

    Reality: You can’t even remember the last time you peed by yourself.

  • Job Satisfaction


    Expectation: Motherhood will be the best job ever.

    Reality: Motherhood is the best job ever.

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