Single Mom Confession: Things I Didn't Expect to Miss About My Kids When They're With Dad

Sleepy Snuggles Are the BestOne of the perks of single motherhood, provided that your children’s father is in the picture, is that you get breaks that you never seemed to get when you were still a traditional family. Because when they’re with their dad, you’re basically not even on call (except for emergencies).

I won’t lie. Those breaks can be lifesavers sometimes. What? I don’t have to pack lunches and find matching socks this morning in a mad rush to get everyone out the door on time? An uninterrupted shower? Bliss.


But even so, I find myself really missing my munchkins when they’re not with me. These are the parts of motherhood that I took somewhat for granted before I lost them when they go to their dad’s.

Snuggles: My 5-year-old pops into bed with me in the wee hours of the morning more often than not. I love her sleepy little sighs as she snuggles in. At night, my 10-year-old likes me to lie in bed with her as we discuss everything from boobs to geometry to solving the world’s problems.

Leftovers: If you promise not to judge me, I’ll admit that dinner for me some nights is two or three chicken nuggets and a handful of carrot sticks with double-dipped ranch. It’s not that I’m too lazy to make my own dinner -- I’m just busy, mmmkay?

Funny Chatter: The other day big sister was explaining music to little sister, and this happened: “Before there were iPods, there were CDs. And before that there were these record-disc thingies that you played on a big box with a needle. Those are even older than Mommy -- they’re from the SEVENTIES.”

Control: This one is the hardest. So long as they’re safe, dad is in charge of them when he’s the custodial parent. I don’t get any real input into what they do over at Daddy’s house. I have to trust that he will care for them and make them feel loved, and I have to trust that they’ll be ok. I also have to trust that they still love and need him, even if my feelings have changed. Letting go -- this is definitely the thing I have the hardest time with.

What do you miss about your kids when they're not with you?


Image via Jenny Erikson

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