My Love-Hate Relationship With My Pregnant Body

Throughout my first pregnancy, I found it impossible to fairly assess my changing body. Every day brought with it a new discovery -- something growing in this direction, a liquid oozing from that direction -- I lived in a constant state of fear over what would and wouldn’t happen to my body.

This time around, I am calmer, equipped with the knowledge that, although pregnancy may change your body -- and sometimes for the better, I might add -- it doesn’t destroy it. I've been able to pinpoint five things I really love about my pregnant body, and four I wish would disappear into the ether.


Five Things I Love: 

  1. Every day is like Halloween when you are sporting outlandish porno star breasts that become more amazing by the day. I've found pregnancy to be the ideal time to pop into the living room when your husband least expects it wearing your old size 32B bra. 
  2. Even on a few hours of sleep, I wake up with dewy, glowing skin. There is no explanation for this. I should look like crap. And yet, my skin looks lit from within.
  3. Up until about month seven, my belly will remain an adorable pumpkin of a bump that looks cute in baby doll dresses. I can feel my baby move, hiccup, and slide around inside of me and it feels wondrous.
  4. A pregnant body is powerful. It serves as a reminder to people to hold doors open or give up seats on a subway -- basically, to act civil and human.
  5. My nails never break.

Four Things I Could So Do Without:

  1. My hair is like a really great book I’m borrowing from the library. The world may compliment me on how glossy, thick, and perfectly styled it always appears (even when I don’t wash it for three days!). But I know in 11 months, I’m going to owe that library lots of money -- and every shower I take is going to look like a scene from a horror movie. 
  2. I have to shave my legs every single day, and sometimes twice daily. Is that even normal?
  3. Along with the great breasts come great, big nipples that remain hard every single second of the day. Since there’s no justifiable reason a woman can benefit from rock-hard nipples when she’s going for a coffee run, I believe this body feature was a mistake made by the pregnancy gods.
  4. Pregnancy refuses to leave my poor belly button intact. It’s no longer an innie, it’s not really an outtie -- I guess it has become a "middie"?

What do you love about your pregnant body? What can't you stand? 

Image via Henna By Heather Mehndi.../Flickr

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