5 Ways Your Baby Resembles the Town Drunk

baby wineBabies. They're real lushes, I tell ya. They may not be able to string together a proper sentence (see? drunk!), but the minute you turn your back on them, into the liquor cabinet they go. Not sure what your little one's poison is (I think my daughter likes her wine), but I can assure you, your baby is drunk. Hammered. Wasted out of his or her mind.

Don't believe me? I've got proof. Here are 5 ways being with your baby is like hanging out with drunk person.

Image via Rich Moffitt/Flickr

  • Babies Stumble All Over the Place


    Go on, try to get your baby to walk a straight line. There's no way they can do it. I guarantee you they stumble and probably even fall. Good thing they don't know how to drive yet.

  • Babies Pee and Poop Their Pants


    Nicole Fabian-Weber

    Hey man, it's happened to the best of us (um, right?). But babies always be peeing and pooping their pants! They're not lucid enough to even realize that they have to go. Such drunks.

  • Babies Start Crying for No Reason




    No, babies don't usually accompany their tears with a story about how they feel misunderstood or why they hate their sister, but they do start crying out of nowhere for no good reason at all. The heck?

  • Babies Are Completely Irrational


    Bradley Gordon/Flickr


    Sometimes babies, AKA drunkies, fixate on something and will. Not. Let it go. And it's usually something completely random like a piece of paper or a wooden spoon. Try taking that piece of paper or wooden spoon away from your baby. I dare you. You're in for a world of pain.

  • Babies Pass Out Anywhere




    And, naturally, their friends are going to do silly things to them while they're sleeping.

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