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25 Ways You Know You're the Mother of a Teen

teensCongratulations, Mom! You've actually made it all the way to the teen years without (technically) losing your mind. Except there's a good chance you'll lose it in the very near future, because this gig is NOT for the faint of heart. Seriously, did you put your parents through the same torture?? Because if you did, you better buy your mom something better for Mother's Day than that pair of slippers you found on sale. Speaking of which, all you really want this Mother's Day is 24 hours without someone rolling their eyes at you. Am I right? Here are 25 more ways you know you're the mom of a teen.

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1You're not allowed in your kid's room.

Not that you'd want to go in there.

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2Mysterious dents appear on your car.

"Mom, I have no idea how that got there!"

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3Your daughter "borrows" clothes and you never see them again.

They're probably buried under a pile in her room somewhere, but since you're not allowed inside you'll never know.

Image via Deborah Austin/Flickr

4Food vanishes from your fridge faster than you can fill it.

Didn't you just go grocery shopping yesterday?!

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5You have to ask your kid how to work your new phone.

But you can never remember what they said anyway.


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6Everything you say is "weird."

"Oh my god, MOM! Don't you know anything?!"

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7"Instagram," "Snapchat" and "Vine" are your kid's favorite words.

But you don't know what any of them mean.

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8You get asked for money at least once a day.

Your kid needs it. For "stuff."

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9You do more laundry now than when your kid was in diapers.

Who knew?!

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10Your kid might as well be a locked diary.

Every question is answered with "nothing," "whatever," or "I don't know."

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11Suddenly there's a vegetarian sitting at the dinner table.

The whole family should really give up meat, you know.


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12You're often accused of "ruining" your kid's life.

Oh, the drama!

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13And you "don't understand anything."

Just don't even try, okay?!

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14Waking your kid up in the morning is a nightmare.

Forget the alarm clock and go for the fireworks.


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15You're never sure if your kid is really "doing homework" or not.

"In my day, we didn't have the internet! We had an encyclopedia!"

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16"Guess what I got?" are the scariest words ever.

All possibilities equal disaster.


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17You have to look up to talk to your kid.

Is he ever going to stop growing??

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18You actually go to bed earlier than your child.

Who knows what happens after you go to sleep? Who cares?

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19Sometimes you look at your teen's baby pictures and cry.

She was so tiny!! Sniff, sniff.

Image via Emily Mills/Flickr

20Spying on your kid's date is something you've considered.

It's dark in the movie theater ... she'll never know.

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21Whenever somebody mentions "college fund" you feel dizzy.

You look like you need a drink.

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22Every day you find another grey hair.

Your mother is highly amused.


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23Same goes for wrinkles.

Your mother is highly, HIGHLY amused.

Image via Johnathan Nightingale/Flickr

24You realize the toddler years were a piece of cake compared to this.

Why didn't anyone warn you?!

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