10 Things Never to Say to Stepmoms

stepmotherHow's this for a crazy statistic? Approximately 1,300 new stepfamilies are formed every day in America. We've come a long, long way from the days when Ward and June Cleaver were "average" Americans. But you wouldn't know to hear some stepmothers and stepfathers talk. Stepparents hear some real head-scratchers. And then there are the truly infuriating comments from folks who really should know better.


Afraid you might have foot in mouth disease when you talk to your friends who have stepkidsThe Stir polled parents from blended families to find out what they're really sick and tired of hearing:

1. "Thank God they're not your real kids." I've been raising them since they were 1, that makes them "real" to me!

2. I told my mom that my stepkids are my kids and she dismissed me. I pointed out that my dad's parents included my older sisters (my dad's stepkids) in everything and she said "that's different."

3. Someone asked me if I had broken up my husband's marriage.

4. You wouldn't believe how many people will criticize my husband's ex in front of the kids. She's not my favorite person, but I try very hard NOT to criticize her in front of her kids!

5. People ask, "Aren't you glad he doesn't live closer to you?" It's so not the case!

6. People say, "So, you have two kids and your husband has three?" No, idiot. We have three children.

7. "You have no right to discipline that child. He/she isn't yours." So the child should run rampant (tearing my house apart, making messes, hitting their siblings, burning the house down) for the 24 hours he/she is alone with me and I am the supervising adult?

8. When are you going to have your own kids?

9. You must be glad when they go home.

10. I have a friend who seems really inconvenienced when I say we have the kids for the weekend. She is always asking me why I can't just change weekends so I can do something with her. Maybe because I don't want to?

Have you ever said anything on this list? What are the worst ones you've heard?


Image via Jeanne Sager

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