7 Things You Have to Stop Doing Once You're a Mom

dancing on a tableThere are some things you just cannot do once you become a mother. For many women, the line is drawn pretty strict. I'm a little more lenient. You can still dance on the table (a very stable one, after you've cleared the dishes), have a cocktail before dinner, and dress like a slut if you want to, in my book. But even I have my standards. Here are seven things I think we have to give up when we have kids.

  1. Hard drugs: Hopefully you weren't doing heroin before you had kids. But just in case: It's time to get off the horse. Get it out of your system before the babies come. Like, all the way out of your system.
  2. YOLO: You don't get to use this phrase to do crazy shit anymore. You only live once, but that one life now comes with responsibility. Live for tomorrow, too.
  3. Neglecting your health: Your kid needs you to be your best self. It's not just so you can parent at your highest capacity. It's also because they need you to model healthy habits.
  4. Gossiping: Go ahead and talk smack about the Real Housewives. But when it comes to real people, especially people your kids know, it's time to exercise some self control. People disappoint us, and it's okay to say so. But I don't think it's right to just carelessly slag off on people in front of your kids.
  5. Any activity that could be classified as a felony: Try really hard not get land your ass in jail. Who will take care of your kids, then?
  6. Picking up guys at bars and bringing them home: If you're single, keep the sexy times far away from your kids. No one wants to see a strange man in Mommy's bathrobe at breakfast. Oh -- I guess this goes for married women, too. Husbands hate it when you bring home someone else to sleep with. Ehrm, usually.
  7. Eating ice cream for dinner: Steam some broccoli and boil some pasta. We all have bad nights, but try.

What do you think people have to stop doing once they become parents?


Image via Trishhh/Flickr

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