There Are Some Lyrics a Kid Should Just Never, Ever Sing

Kids, lyricsI’m getting ready to show my age here, but when I was a kid (the key phrase that indicates someone is indeed about to launch into a story that will show their age), I used to rap the molasses outta the lyrics to “Push It.” I loved Salt-n-Pepa anyway, down to my ripped jeans and my replica of their asymmetrical haircuts. I don’t know about them, but mine took a regrettable and absurd amount of time to grow out.

So that combo, the fan-dom and the haircut, made me the fourth member of the group in my mind whenever that song came on. Perhaps Salt-Pepa-n-Curry? Or was I more of a Paprika? Either way, I obliviously ooh-baby-baby-edsong  and emphatically ahhh-pushed-it in front of my mama whenever it came on. She never said a word to encourage or put me on ice either way.


Mind you, I wasn’t allowed to say “fart,” “boobs,” or “shut up” (substituted by “break wind,” “breasts,” and the much less saucy “be quiet”) but she let me say “Ah, push it, push it real good” and turned a blind eye to me heaving my yet-undeveloped hips out to dry hump the air. I mean, by Nicki Minaj standards, that’s a freakin’ nursery rhyme. But still.

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Fast forward to the present-time, when I have my own daughter and this generation of sexually charged songs is much less subtle and bypass suggestion for in-your-face boldness. As a music lover, you might just want to sing along and do a little sashay to the beat. But as a mother, you have to be all responsible and stuff, and that means not letting your babies belt out smutty lyrics.

When I heard Girl Child singing along to “S&M,” I could’ve cut a hole in the floor, burrowed into the ground, and swallowed a wad of hell. I don’t do much forbidding in the arts department, but I blacklisted that sucker. Same with Britney Spears’ “If You Seek Amy” (sound it out with me…eff-yoo-see-kay-me…yeah, that’s right). Yamma.

But the ultimate, also another Rihanna ditty, was “Rude Boy,” because you just haven’t keeled over and died inside until you’ve heard the lilting soprano of your otherwise innocent 10-year-old singing a very not-so-innocent, “Come here, rude boy, boy/can you get it up? Come here rude boy, boy/is you big enough?”

It’s still enough to make me cringe. Shudder.

Are there any songs you just absolutely forbid your kids to listen to?

Image via davitydave/Flickr

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