Moms Don’t Need Hospital Visitors After Having a Baby, They Need Space

mom and newbornHaving a baby is life's most joyous occasion. And not just for the new mom and dad, but for the new mom and dad's parents. And grandparents. And friends. And aunts and uncles. Everyone loves a baby. And everyone wants to see and hold a baby shortly after it's born. But, here's the thing: Everyone needs to wait.

Aside from being joyous, having a baby is stressful and confusing. The last thing a new mom needs is brigades of people traipsing through her hospital room when she's trying to bond with her little one, and/or trying to figure out how to breastfeed.

I know none of us like saying no to people (especially people we love), but when it comes to those first precious days after giving birth, I'm all for the dreaded "n" word. I didn't do it last go 'round, but if I'm lucky enough to have another baby, I most definitely will. Some of you on CafeMom beg to differ, though.


After reading through the comments and answers to a question Anonymous asked regarding whether or not she was being unreasonable not wanting any visitors the first day in the hospital, it seems like, ultimately, it comes down to a personality thing. Some want lots of friends and family visiting that first day to share in the joy, others (like me) would prefer a more low-key couple of days. There's no "right" way to do things in motherhood, as we all know. Just preferences.

When I was in the hospital after having my daughter, there were a million visitors. And it made me feel very loved that people drove all the way into land-of-million-dollar-parking New York City to see me and my daughter. But also, it was chaotic. Really chaotic. I was so sore and exhausted that I barely had any idea of what was going on. I was learning to nurse my baby (and my family's old school), so every time I had to whip out a boob, everyone would shuffle out. My husband and I were trying to get to know the new addition to our family, and, well, that wasn't super easy with people constantly coming in and out of the room.

I know that it's coming from a place of love. And it actually feels a little bit like a bratty thing to do -- telling people you don't want them to visit you and your new baby. But ultimately, if it's what you want, you should do it. It's your baby. You get to call the shots. And if anyone's feelings get hurt, guess what? They'll totally forget about it when they're holding your newborn a few weeks later.

Did you have lots of visitors when you were in the hospital?

Image via ConspiracyofHappiess/Flickr

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