Why Do Some Moms Hate Moms' Night Out?

Moms' night out, in theory, is filled with incredibly thought-provoking conversation without any high-pitched goo-goo gagas. We dress up in maybe only slightly disheveled clothes, do our hair a little special if we have time, and drink a little Prosecco when they have half-price bottles at the local wine bar. Moms' night out in reality is like being in a pressure cooker all day making sure whatever it is that needs to get done is done before the clock hits the time you are supposed to meet the other moms. Will the kids be okay with the sitter? Will your husband be home on time? Will whatever you have planned so this evening works out just right fall into place?

It can be stressful. Which is why I think many moms hate moms' night out.


After all the effort we put into going out, sometimes it makes us too exhausted to even go out. The idea of going out without the kids sounds fantastic. But actually doing it is work. And the lack of sleep that comes with an outing might not be work it because when your typical 9 p.m. bedtime rolls around, that's just about the time you're pouring yourself that second glass of wine. How's that going to feel the next day when dealing with a crying baby? If you didn't go out, typically you'd be snug in your PJs on the couch around that time watching something you recorded days ago and couldn't wait to watch. Or ... you're in your daughter's bed trying to convince here that there are no monsters under the bed and it's okay to go to sleep.

Sometimes it's seven nights a week of that for every week of the month. And so on. And so on. Which is why even though it's almost easier to stay home, I make the time and effort for a night out.

Of course, dealing with a child of any age with even the slightest hint of a hangover is the worst. Never recommended. Plus, these days recovering from drinking too much (even just half a glass more) sometimes takes days. I do mix drinking my wine with lots of glasses of water. I love talking to the other moms, getting a little dressed up and even taking photos of myself and the other ladies so there are actual photos of me that exist and not just the 296 photos I take of the kids in a typical week. I endure the sometimes painfully annoying road it takes me to even get myself out the door on time to meet my friends, but it's worth it. We worry about our kids getting enough social interaction with other kids their own age, we need that, too.

And I do do mean a true moms' night out -- kids not included. It refreshes me even if I'm a little groggy and need an extra cup of coffee the next day. I need adult conversation and being a stay at home mom, I don't get enough of it during the week. Sure there's the chit chat at pre-school drop-off and pick-up, but it's not enough. Even when I was a full-time working mom, if I didn't have a night out once in a while I felt like all I did was work and I still needed a little time just for me.

Now if only I could convince more moms to join me.

Do you have a moms night out with your friends? Is it hard to get moms to go out? Do you find it challenging to get out, too, but love it when you do?


Image via Michele Zipp

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