15 Things Only Parents Say

Last week, I told my son to finish his cheeseburger if he expected to eat dessert. I then laughed at the absurdity of having to finish a delicious, juicy burger before going on to chocolate. Oh, to be a child again. I find myself saying these things countless times a day: The things that would only make sense coming from a parent

Turns out I'm not the only one. Here are 15 things parents on my message boards have uttered lately, much to their dismay ...


1. DO NOT pee in the litter box!!!!

2. Let go of my nipple. It's not a handle.

3. Don't lick your brother.

4. Lamps are not swords.

5. If you blow (your nose) hard enough, I won't have to wipe it so much!

6. Don't put the dog toys in your mouth!

7. Girls don't like it when you touch their boobies. Mommy's boobies are only for the baby.

8. I don't care how many boogers you've got, please don't blow your nose on the couch.

9. You can't take your potty to bed with you.

10. No you cannot go play in the snow in your underwear!

11. Please stop trying to stick my glasses up my nose.

12. Please take your breakfast out of your pants. No! Don't. I'll get you another muffin.

13. Yes, sweetie, if you finish your piece of chocolate, you can have an orange.

14. The carpet is NOT toilet paper.

15. Please don't put any more crayons in the air conditioner.

What have you said lately that only a parent would utter?

Image via Scary Mommy

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