Moms Don't Want to Hear That Their Baby Looks 'Just Like Daddy'

nicole fabian-weberYou know what's annoying? Hearing people say that your child looks "so much" like your partner. There, I said it. Some people (predominantly my family) think my daughter looks like me. Others, not so much. "Not so much" as in, "Oh my god, she looks so much like her daddy!" Quiet, you. I grew this adorable little girl inside of me for nine months. You really can't see me in her at all?

You can't?

Then lie.


It's a common reaction -- one I'd often give myself before I had a baby of my own. People love to immediately offer their expert input as to who the child looks like more -- Mommy or Daddy. (In addition to whether she's "big" or "small.") They do it as if they're cracking some long-anticipated code. (Oh, that's who she looks like. Finally! I've been dying to find out! Thank you!) Unsurprisingly, people on Mom's side of the family think Baby looks like Mom, and people on Dad's side think the opposite. Honestly? It's kind of annoying both ways.

When my husband, baby, and I are around family members from my side, and they start talking about how much my daughter looks like me as a baby (which, well, she does), I feel bad for my husband. It's like they're excluding him from being a part of the fun, part of the family! And when the opposite happens -- like it did this past Sunday at a birthday party -- I have an urge to let a baby picture of me "fall" out of my wallet, and go, "I'm sorry, were you saying something?"

Before I had a kid, I never in a million, trillion years thought something like this would irritate me. And even now, I admit, I'm kind of surprised that it does. I kind of hate that it does. I don't consider myself an uptight person when it comes to other aspects of parenthood. If you ask to hold my baby, I won't hover over you. I swear! I trust you!

I just don't want to hear you saying how she looks just like her daddy! Because it's not true it's subjective. And it's especially annoying when you're meeting her for the first time and it's the first thing out of your mouth. Tell me she's sweet and cute, and how, hey look at that! She's a combo of both her parents.

A few weeks ago, I was at my friend's house, where both she and her mom kept commenting on how A) my daughter is small, and B) how she looks like my husband. It was kind of annoying. But when I got home and was walking inside, baby and car seat in tow, my neighbor stopped me and said, "Holy cow, what are you feeding that girl? She's huge! And man, does she look like her mama."

It was sweet, and for a moment, it negated everything I'd been hearing the past few hours. But then I thought: Did you just call my baby fat?

Does it bother you when you hear that your baby "looks just like their dad"?


Image via Nicole Fabian-Weber

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