Keeping Twins In the Same Class Should Be a Parent's Decision

twins holding hands
My twins. Sticking together.
With school starting, I'm loving all the photos of my friends' children in their back-to-school poses. And in two weeks, I'll have some pics of my own to add. My twins are entering preschool and they will be in the same class. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Twin parents often face this decision, and many on my local board have pointed out the positives and negatives to keeping them together or splitting them up. Motherlode writer KJ Dell'Antonia has some anxiety about her twins being in the same first grade class since her kids were split up in pre-k. But for my husband and me, we couldn't imagine our twins being separated.


They were in the womb together. Shared a crib right next to our bed for the first 7 months, and continued to share sleeping space until my daughter decided to do aerobics all through the night. So instead of keeping her brother awake, she moved her moves into our Queen size bed, which suddenly felt like a twin. Sometimes when I take just one out with me while the other one stays with my husband, they wonder where their twin is.

When I ask my daughter how old she is, her response is "I'm a twin." We've discussed what the correct answer is -- "2 and a half" -- but she always leads with that part of her identity.

We've been in structured library readings and playspaces together and my kids do most of their playing and socializing apart from each other. They each have their own favorite friends as well. Yet they aren't far from their security blanket, the person who has been there with them from the start. Maybe some see that as a crutch, but when they are old enough to make the decision to not want to be together in a classroom, we will let them make that decision for themselves. Hoping, of course, they agree on whatever that decision is. Twin parents know how challenging it can be when the twosome don't agree ... or when you don't buy two of everything and sharing isn't an option.

I'm hearing, though, that there are some schools who do not give parents the choice. That twins are separated in the classroom no matter the decision of the parent. This decision should belong to the parents; not the schools. I do have a boy and a girl. I've heard that many who have identical twins feel separating them is best. I just believe that a parent knows best if keeping their twins together or splitting them up in a classroom is the right call. And it should be a call we make ourselves.

What do you think? Should twins be in the same classroom?

Image via Michele Zipp

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