11 Cruel, Mocking Photos I Took of My Babies

I was going through some old baby/toddler photos of my kids recently, and I noticed something. Well, first of all, I noticed that my photos were way nicer before I started relying on my cellphone and blurry Instagram filters all the time, but I also noticed that there was a certain … theme to my pictures back then. You might almost describe it as photographic REVENGE.

Sure, I captured all the standard childhood milestone moments that I could (first smiles, first steps, first horrified reaction to rice cereal, etc), but I also seem to have taken a lot of photos of my children while they were upset and/or in amusingly compromised positions.

I'm sure I just thought the images were cute at the time, but now that I've been revisiting a bunch all at once I can't help wondering if I had ulterior motives. Such as, you know, GETTING MY KIDS BACK for all those sleepless nights and howl-filled days?

Here, take a look, you'll see what I mean:


Notice how even the dog is chagrined that I didn't immediately yank that snot-sucker out of my kid's mouth.

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Oh, sad baby curled in a ball of woe! Poor little Woe Ball, who I chose to photograph rather than comfort! (Caution: Woe Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Woe Ball contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not taunt Woe Ball.)

Hey good luck removing that Post-It, Mr. Manual Dexterity Skills Are Still a Work In Progress.


It could have been worse, is all I can say about this.

Look how much he loves his adorable frog raincoat! I SAID HE LOVES IT.

You still wake up sometimes, don't you? You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the lambs.

Look, I'm being meta-photobombed ... by Bobby Hill.

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Hee. Atlas Crawled.

Oh like YOU never secretly wished this would happen so you could go take a freaking shower already.

Do some parents instantly leap to their child's aid in these types of situations? Because obviously my first instinct is to 1) stagger around the room laughing hysterically, before 2) documenting the moment.

I wasn't present for this particular school photo, and honestly, I have NO idea what they were thinking ... but I can't lie, this one's a keeper.

Do you have a collection of embarassing/weird photos of your kids?

Images via Linda Sharps

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