10 Priceless Mother's Day Gifts You'll Probably Never Receive

Girl doing her homeworkThis Sunday is Mother's Day. And like most dads, I'm proud to say I still don't have a friggin' clue what I'm getting for my wife.

Yes, I'll be sure to have the kids make some homemade cards full of plenty of shiny stickers and adorable crayon drawings of things we won't be able to decipher. But what about the gift?

Cookie trays, fun spatulas or any other kitchen gadget seems as bad as getting dad a tie for Father's Day. I hate ties. Nobody likes ties.

So I came up with a list of the perfect gifts my kids can give their mom and they truly are priceless. Meaning, they won't cost a cent. Bonus!

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Here's a list of 10 things my kids should give my wife for Mother's Day:

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  1. Do their homework without being asked. Heck, doing your homework even when being asked would be a great gift.
  2. Go 24 hours without fighting with his brother. Nothing says, "I love you, Mom" more than not hearing, "I hate you, Jake" every 10 minutes.
  3. Eat something besides chicken nuggets or mac & cheese. Sorry but these wonderfully processed foods are not part of the four major food groups. Or even that funky pyramid.
  4. Make their own bed. Don't just toss a blanket over the crumpled sheets and pile of stuffed animals, really tuck everything in neatly.
  5. Don't mess up the house. This one's easy. Just sit in one spot and... Don't. Touch. Anything.
  6. Let mommy talk on the phone. Even if it's a life-threatening situation like you can't find your Level 17 Bulbasaur Pokemon card, just fight that urge.
  7. Shut off the lights. When you leave a room, shut the lights off. That goes for your bedroom, the playroom, the living room, the kitchen, etc.
  8. Sleep late. As in, don't wake up at 6 a.m. Not even 7 a.m. Sleep is good for you. You're getting sleepy...
  9. Clean your room. Seriously, stepping on Legos with your bare feet hurts. A lot.
  10. Pee before you leave. I know, I know. You don't have to go. Really. But just this one day, go before you get in the car for the long trip to grandma's house.

 

How many of these gifts will you be getting for Mother's Day?

 

 

Image via John Benson/Flickr 

 

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