Popular Mommy Message Board Acronyms Translated for Confused Non-Moms

kid laptopMaybe it was all those Nancy Drew books I read as a kid, but I've always thought secret codes and languages were kind of cool and fun. So those typically acronym-filled Mommy Message Boards never bothered me, but apparently they're seriously frustrating/obnoxious to some people, particularly non-moms whose everyday vocabulary isn't peppered with terms like attachment parenting and chorionic villus sampling

I get it, especially considering that so much of the abbreviated lexicon requires a double translation for the uninitiated:

First, the actual words corresponding to each letter in the acronym; second, a sort of layman's version of the definition.

In an attempt to open the lines of cross-demographic acronym understanding, we've made the following list ...

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7 Mommy Message Board Terms, Translated

1. WAHM

Actual meaning: Work-at-home mom

Non-mom translation: Tears her hair out all day trying to not get fired and keep children alive/fed/entertained at the same time mom

2. WOHM

Actual meaning: Work-out-of-home mom

Non-mom translation: Tears her hair out all day trying to not get fired and make sure children are being kept alive/fed/entertained at the same time mom

3. WM

Actual meaning: Working mom

Non-mom translation: EVERY MOM IS A WORKING MOM!

4. LAM

Actual meaning: Lactational amennorhea method; referring to natural infertility while breastfeeding

Non-mom translation: Form of "birth control" that really works -- unless you really need it to work

5. NAK

Actual meaning: Nursing at keyboard

Non-mom translation: The only way a nursing mom can ever spend a few minutes on the computer

6. BD

Actual meaning: Baby dancing (sex for conception)

Non-mom translation: Sex as a chore

7. DH

Actual meaning: Darling husband

Non-mom translation: That amazing man who fathered your child; alternate meaning: That amazingly dense man who fathered your child but snores right through the child's crying jag at 2 a.m.

What are some of your favorite Mommy Message Board acronyms? What do they REALLY mean to you?

 

Image via Ernst Vikne/Flickr

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