5 Parenting Fantasies That Would Make Reality So Much Better

daydreamingWhen it comes to parenting small children, most of us don't have time to think. When we do, we can't hear ourselves doing so anyway. However, in those few rare minutes we find ourselves in the dentist chair (a bizarre kind of bliss) or perhaps (once in awhile) alone in the bathroom, it's amazing just where our minds go ... it's just not where they used to go.

Mom fantasies are hot for sure, but no longer do they always involve torrid and steamy encounters. They're typically about things a little more on the practical side, even if they are wild stretches of the imagination.

Over at Huffington Post, Amber Dusick, crafted a list of her top five parenting fantasies, complete with some great illustrations. They include things like standard measurements for children's clothing and no candy machines in stupid places. All of which would be great, but I can think of plenty more. Here are five more of my own parenting fantasies that would make reality so much easier to take.

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1. Children would be born potty trained.

Remember, I said they were fantasies, so I'm going big here. Potty training my son was one of the most stressful things I've ever done in my life. It was a battle that felt endless and was wrought with tears, anxiety, and more bribes than I knew I could create. Fortunately, we made it in the end, but I'm convinced, it took at least a few weeks off my life.

2. Toddlers would be sane.

There is so much I love about toddlers and their view of the world, so I certainly wouldn't want to skip this stage. But they're insane, plain and simple. If only they'd listen to a little bit of reason, we wouldn't spend so much time scraping their flailing little tantruming bodies off the floors of public spaces.

3. Minivans would clean themselves.

The inside of my ride is often my biggest source of shame. With kids in and out, and snacks, toys, half the house, and whatever they grab while walking through the garage coming with them, it's impossible to keep that thing clean.

4. Sleep would be a given.

For them, for us -- uninterrupted, dependable sweet, sweet slumber that we could count on. Always.

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5. Parenting would be appreciated not judged.

Gone would be any smugness or judgement when it comes to how we're raising our kids -- which for most of us means doing the best we can. Stay at home or work; bottle or breast; cloth or disposal; organic or not -- do what works for you, sister. Sadly, this may be the least likely fantasy of all to ever be realized.

What are your wildest fantasies when it comes to parenting?

 

Image via Victor1558/Flickr

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