20 Moms Reveal the Weirdest Things in Their Purses (PHOTOS)

One of the weirdest things about becoming a mom is no longer being in control of the contents of your handbag. Gone are the days of cute little clutches holding only breath mints, a credit card, and some lipstick.

We are moms now. Now, most days we are lugging 10 pounds of diapers, wipes, toys, and God knows what else.

We asked 20 moms to open their purses and pull out the six weirdest items found within and the results are nothing short of hilarious. In honor of these moms, I also took it upon myself to write a haiku for each mom. Because nothing says poetry like finding a headlamp, stethoscope, and toy hammer you didn't even know you owned. Enjoy the slideshow below:

What crazy things have you found in your purse?

  • A's Bag


    What's in it: A hanky, Hunger Games, a notebook with pen, an origami bunny, a chocolate candy bar, and, of course, a phone.

    Our take:

    Hunger Games for Train
    Small Origami Bunny
    For everything else.

  • AR's Bag

    What's in it: A calendar, wallet, pen, greeting card, keys, and Kleenex.


    Our take:
    Kleenexes wipe noses
    Calendar keeps time while keys
    Jangle our stressed out mind.


  • J's bag


    What's in it: 6 or 7 lip balms, a rock, Balmex diaper cream, toothpaste, broken watch strap from a Timex Ironman watch, ancient tiny tin of Burt's Bees hand salve.

    Our take:

    Lip balm heals all well

    But not the broken time piece

    That needs more than salve.

  • E's Bag


    What's in it: a Diego figure, ear plugs, a Magic Treehouse book, Christmas M&M's, and a GPS.

    Our take:

    Diego hurts ears

    Earplugs can't make us forget

    But trying is fun

  • S's bag


    What's in it: A marker, children's toothpaste, scissors, a CD -- Columbus Police and Fire Pipes and Drums, a medicine dropper, and a WWE wrestling belt.

    Our take:

    Wrestlers can't beat moms

    We brush teeth, give medicine

    Cut, paste, draw, repeat

  • SW's bag


    What's in it: Cheap baby wipes, a princess notebook, an umbrella, a toy hammer, a sunglasses case, and a clown nose.

    Our take:

    Only clowns like hammers

    That are made of black plastic

    Still, nice to have tools.

  • K's bag


    What's in it: 3D glasses wrapper from The Lorax, a frog pen, a handmade felt poppy barrette, Pokemon, assorted hello kitty barrettes, a doll shoe, an owl mirror, a handmade coffee cozy, and bookmarks to celebrate Dr. Seuss' birthday.

    Our take:

    Glasses make for fun

    With owls, hearts, felt, and barrettes

    Seuss would be quite proud.

  • SS's bag


    What's in it: Robot glove, helicopter, bottle of stool softener, container of bubbles, pirate, and three carabiners.

    Our take:

    Moms can climb mountains

    With constipated robots

    But bubbles come first.

  • M's bag


    What's in it: An angry bird, Legal Seafood crayons, an Angry Birds watch, SpiderMan, fun-sized M&Ms, and a K-cup (coffee).

    Our take:

    Angry birds fill time

    Legal Seafoods fills bellies

    But caffeine fills mom.

  • L's bag


    What's in it: Lipstick, head band, snack pack of nuts, passport application, red paper bow tie from Cat In the Hat day, desk reference DSM IV.

    Our take:

    Friend acting crazy?
    Diagnose her with this book
    Then they'll hate you.


  • SM's bag


    What's in it: Medela pumping bottles, a teether, lipgloss, stain remover, oil absorbing sheets, and a stack of research articles.

    Our take: 

    No one works faster

    Working moms multitask well

    Pump, read, apply gloss.

  • JS's bag


    What's in it: Manhattan subway map, IKEA pencil, little girl's nail polish (Piggy Paint), Littlest Pet Shop surfboard, Colgate Wisps toothbrush.

    Our take:

    Mom thinks surfboard's weird

    But daughter says it matters

    Carry all for love.

  • B's bag


    What's in it: A sheriff's badge, a frog on a rock, dice, a Spongebob ring, my Leather-man, and a weird puppy cheerleader figure.

    Our take:

    I shot the sherriff

    With a puppy cheerleader

    My one accomplice.

  • AA's bag


    What's in it: Gorilla Glue, detached Dora arm, syringe, plastic eggplant, Christmas bulb, and butterfly hair accessory.

    Our take:

    Poor Dora met fate

    Even glue could not amend

    The bulb will be worse.

  • KG's bag


    What's in it: a CD, a book, a color palette for clothing, a vegan bar, lollipops that the kids took from the bank but never ate, and some red Mac polish.

    Our take:

    Health food and books

    Help to balance our mom guilt

    But candy helps more.

  • JT's purse


    What's in it: A headlamp, stethescope, travel size shampoo and soap, $100, alcohol swabs, passport.

    Our take:

    Headlamps must light things

    The stethoscope amps up sound

    Motherhood dulls sense.

  • HA's bag


    What's in it: A contact case, some cash, wallet, jewelry, blush, and lip gloss.

    Our take:

    Applying makeup

    In our home bathroom is gone

    Moms learn to make do.

  • PP's bag


    What's in it: Body spray, Sexy little things noir lotion, cookie coin purse, ninja turtle hair clip, powder, condoms, monkey, tooth on a stick.

    Our take:

    Between the tooth stick

    and the monkey in my purse

    Two kids are plenty.


  • LZ's bag


    What's in it: Bubbles, fever patch, eye drops, USB drive, bow, iPod.

    Our take:

    Fever Patch helps to
    Make sick kids better or just
    Bust out the bubbles.

  • GM's bag


    What's in it: 2 multi-use tools, a Greenies dog tooth brush, a moon rock calming stone, a guitar pick, a tiny pocket knife.

    Our take:

    Moms are MacGyver

    We can brush a dog's teeth well

    While playing guitar.

being a mom

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