7 Ways My Kids Have Shredded My Dignity

Parenting has brought me a number of blessings -- my three kids, a more patient personality, the ability to multi-task, and (most importantly), the ability to appreciate the small things in life. My children have taught me so much, have fulfilled me in so many ways.

They've also shredded the CRAP out of my dignity. Here are the most obvious ways my children have destroyed my dignity.

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  1. I try to take my pants off at ANY doctor's appointments. After three pregnancies and two miscarriages, I'm used to dropping trou the moment I step into a doctor's office. But when it's my neurologist? I'm pretty sure he's going to file some sort of lawsuit any day now.
  2. I've actually walked around Target in my bra. By accident. I was lucky that I a) happened to be wearing one and b) pretended I was in a bikini once I realized it. Which was well after I was on my way OUT of the store.
  3. I routinely wear clothes covered in bodily fluids. NOT MY OWN bodily fluids. Back when I had a single kid, I was pretty good about wearing clean clothes. Now? I have a simple system to get dressed - I call it the "sniff" method. As in, *sniff, sniff,* okay it's clean.
  4. My roots are so long, I'm probably making a fashion statement. Now, I've never been the best about up-keeping the blond super-villain streak I dye into my hair, but three kids later? I'm lucky if I do it every six months.
  5. I consider Target-brand clothes "designer clothes," now. Screw Ralph Lauren and Michael Kors - Merona is where it's AT.
  6. I now introduce myself as "(insert kid's name)'s Mom." I used to be known as Becky. The Internet knows me as "Aunt Becky." And now? I'm Amelia's Mom.
  7. My Violent Femmes MP3 collection has been replaced by Kids Bop. Volumes 1 - 271057.

How has parenting destroyed YOUR dignity?

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