10 Reasons Your Teen Hates You

It seems like only yesterday that I was a surly teenager. Ah, the glory days. Too many hormones, so many exciting things to learn and do, and, as always, so many feelings to be hurt. Especially my parents.

I didn't understand it at the time -- mostly because I wasn't a parent (thankfully), but I now know that special breed of hurt that comes with parenting a teenager.

Rather than weep and gnash our teeth, I think it's time to get a little humor out of it all.

Here are 10 reasons your teenager hates you.

  1. You breathe. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. You have the gall to sit there, breathing, in and out, day after ever loving day, like a slob.
  2. You make that noise when you chew -- the one that's all "slurp, crunch, slurp." How could they possibly be expected to respect you when you sound like a freaking cow when you eat lunch?
  3. Whenever you take a drink, it sounds like the upstairs toilet is flushing.
  4. You have the nerve to ask about school. If you knew ANYTHING, you wouldn't ask. Beth's mom doesn't ask her how her day was!
  5. You want your kid home for dinner. What's lamer than sitting around the table with your little brothers and your parents? NOTHING.
  6. You try to get hip to the lingo, but you get it all freakin' wrong. It's not "OMG" anymore, Mom, GET WITH THE PROGRAM.
  7. You have the audacity to hum. You know what's more annoying than an off-key rendition of "Deck the Halls?" NOTHING. Except maybe Family Dinner.
  8. You have the audacity to hum songs YOUR KID KNOWS. Aren't you supposed to listen to, like Barry Manilow and Old People stuff?
  9. You have a blog. Because OMGWTFBBQ we all know that Twitter is way cooler.
  10. You have a Twitter account. BACK OFF THE COOL STUFF, MOM -- nobody wants to know that you "really like waffles!"

What else can YOU add? What other reasons do teenagers have for hating us?


Image via Sean MacEntee/Flickr

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