My Husband Does All Heavy Lifting in Our House & I'm Glad

In many houses, moms and dads share all the tasks from the cooking and the cleaning to the building and the repairs. Other houses run more "traditionally" with only the mom doing the cooking, mending and cleaning and dad doing all the repairs, building and heavy lifting. But there is no given and no set rules for every family. It is different for everyone.

The blogger Girl on Saturday, or Karen, illuminated this issue with her blog post about her son's school. Apparently, they were setting up a trebuchet to launch pumpkins for their annual "Punkin' Chunkin'" event and they asked for only dads. Karen was angry and sent the following email to the school:


Dear teachers and parents: Are you guys seriously only asking for Dads? Is lifting done with a penis? Thoughtfully yours, Karen

It lit a firestorm in the school with many parents offended for many reasons. But Karen was right, of course. Many moms can do heavy lifting. But not me. I am not the fix-it mom and I have no interest in becoming such.

It does worry me when I hear stories like this because what message am I sending my children? Am I telling my daughter she can't fix things and my son he has to do that stuff? It has become so bad that when a toy breaks, my children simply set it aside for daddy to deal with since "mommy can't fix things." Ouch. I can. I just don't particularly want to. 

The fact is, I grew up in a house where we called people to fix things, we hired people to clean (and sometimes cook) and generally no one did these things. I happen to like to cook, especially to bake and my husband happens to enjoy fixing things, building things and lifting heavy things. So yes, it is like the 1950's in our house. 

The things we hate -- cleaning! -- we outsource and pay someone to do and the rest we divvy up according to our strengths. I guess I would never assume that about another family, but if there were a trebuchet to be built, it would be my husband, not me, who would be building it. I am willing to bet that is the truth in most families.

Now, of course it is wrong to assume and both moms and dads should have been invited equally. But honestly, I would not have even noticed had this not been pointed out to me by someone else. Karen is a bad ass and someone I would love to befriend. Her note is awesome and ballsy and right on, but count me out of the trebuchet building. Bad influence on my kids or not, I will stick with what I do best.

Moms can do heavy lifting, but how many really want to do so?

Do you do heavy lifting?


Image via Flickr/Tony Crider

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