10 Places I Wish I Never Had to Take My Kids

dmvFinding on-the-spot babysitters has always been a challenge for me, for various reasons. Mostly because I'm an only child and none of our extended family lives very close by. Anyway, as a result, my kids have been dragged along to quite a few places and events that aren't typically considered child-friendly. In fact, some of them might even fall under the heading of "inappropriate," depending on how particular one is about these things as a parent.

As it turns out, I guess I'm not all that particular. I mean, it wouldn't have been my first choice to have two kids in tow on these ventures, but I actually think they benefited from their misadventures. Hey, life isn't always a walk in the park. We have to learn how to roll with the punches at some point, why not sooner rather than later?

Not that I'd want to relive any of these experiences ...

10 places I wish I never had to take my kids:

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  1. Funerals. Forget The Lion King, Great Aunt Edith's funeral is a real crash course in the Circle of Life.
  2. The Emergency Room. The tricky thing about emergencies? You can't really plan ahead. That means if your 5-year-old does a face-plant, your 5-month-old is probably gonna have to tag along for the stitching-up process.
  3. The DMV. Kids just looooove standing in long lines! And everybody else at the DMV just loooooves hearing kids scream!
  4. Bikini Waxing Session. Okay, that was a bit of a scheduling snafu on my part. But as my aesthetician Svetlana put it, my then 4-year-old daughter "might as well learn what is to be woman!"
  5. Passport Office. Of course kids HAVE to be present when you get them their passports. If I'd known how hot, crowded, and miserable the office would have been the day we went to get our kids' passports expedited, I might have just called off the vacation instead.
  6. The OB/GYN. My daughter claims to not remember accompanying me on a handful of visits to the doctor when I was pregnant with her brother. Personally, I think she's blocking the memories out. (I'm sure it'll all come back to her in therapy someday.)
  7. Court. Maybe you have a parking ticket issue to address. Maybe there are divorce papers to be filed. Whatever the reason, make sure there aren't any sharp objects in your kid's pockets before you attempt to get through the front door of the courthouse!
  8. The Tow Pound. If you've never experienced the joy of having your car towed, just imagine the DMV deep-fried in anguish with extra torment sprinkled on top.
  9. Wakes. Like funerals, but worse, because there's usually a bonafide dead body on display.
  10. Nursing Homes. "Look grandpa, little Bobby's here to see you!" "Who?" (Hey, better to laugh than cry!)

Have you ever had to take your kids to any of these places?

 

Image via Chris Harrison/Flickr

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