When Do Our Kids Realize We're Not Cool?

toddler loveAfter getting home from a trip, I was greeted by my biggest fan -- my toddler. You'd think I just finished running the New York Marathon, or had brought him a giant bucket of toy trucks filled with candy. That kid loves me, and he is not afraid who knows it. I was telling someone about the boy and his love for me (okay, let's just call it bragging) while out of town and this nice person reminded me that this won't last. I know that. That's why I'm bragging about it while it's still happening, and I won't feel so bad bitching about the two to ten years when he refuses to speak to me.

Which brings me to my most burning question: When do our kids realize we're not cool? Or more importantly, when will my toddler fall out of love with me? I need to prepare.

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According to friends, my own experience, and the Internet, I can expect my son to ditch me around age 11. I only hope that's true since my 5-year-old has already started to wonder, "How do you know that?" when I answer a particularly vexing question about science or the name of the song on the radio. So I'm guessing we're mere days away from her not believing I'm tha bomb anymore.

But the tween thing seems entirely appropriate. After all, I don't think I'll be wanting to snuggle up with a gangly, smelly 11-year-old boy either. A nice pat on the head as he races to the refrigerator to get the popular drink of the tween generation is about what I'll expect. Maybe a hug after I beg and bribe him with a new deck for his skateboard. While this may sound a little sad, especially given the massive cuddling I'm currently enjoying with my little one, it's not all bad. After all, these same "sources" say by the time he's 19 or 20, he'll be over this period of avoidance and be back on my team. Probably asking for money.

When did your kids start getting embarrassed when you were around?


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