10 Things Good Parents Tell Themselves & Promptly Forget

family watchingIf there's one thing that really sets parents-to-be apart from people who have already spawned, it can be summed up in about three words: "I will never." We all say them a lot before we have kids. After we have them, on the other hand, we tend to find ourselves clamping our teeth shut lest we open our mouths and insert a foot . . . or both.

When it comes to being a parent, the best laid plans might as well be wrapped up in a poopy diaper and shoved in the bottom of the pail for all the good they do us:


1. I will never go a whole day without showering. Because nobody wants to stink, but then again, nobody wants to hear the baby scream incessantly because they have colic, and they just want to be held by somebody, and your eardrums just can't handle it, so you're going to cave! And look at the time .  . .  is it really 5 p.m.? I have to make dinner!

2. I will never let my child watch too much TV. Which lasts until that day when you're home alone, and you have to make 15 dozen cookies for that bake sale, and you need to keep the toddler away from the hot stove. And you have company coming, so you also need to clean the bathroom and do five loads of laundry, and oh my, did someone forget to feed the dog and . . .

3. I will be the cool mom. Only the cool mom doesn't sound exactly like YOUR mother. But you do.

4. I will never let my child throw a tantrum in public. Who said anything about "let"? It seems this little person has their own mind made up about when and where, and you're just riding the wave.

5. I won't stick my nose in my kid's friendships. But that kid on the playground was just such a jerk, the teacher had to find out sooner or later. Sooner just seemed better . . . you know, before he took my son's arm off "playing" rough.

6. I won't ever let my kid have junk food. This is a great plan. Great. Until you are forced to let them out of your sight for an hour at Little Johnny's birthday party, and they discover flaming hot Cheetos.

7. I will never leave my child with a sitter at night so I can go out. What's that? Grandma wants you to sleep over the WHOLE weekend? Well, by all means, can't disappoint Granny!

8. I will never lose my temper with my kids. Just wait until they break that ornament your godmother gave you on your very first Christmas. How's that happy face working out for you?

9. I will never let my child play with toy guns. Unfortunately, they still have fingers. And sticks. And LEGOs. And . . .

10. I will never let the living room be taken over by toys. Yeah. Good luck with that.

Has parenting made a liar out of you? What's your biggest pre-parenting "I will never" myth that got busted by reality?


Image via mikebaird/Flickr

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