6 Kids Halloween Costumes Too Crazy to Be Real (But They Are)

Jeanne Sager | Sep 5, 2011 Being a Mom

Jersey Shore kid's costumeIt's that time of year again, when everything moves at hyperspeed. It feels like the kids have just gone back to school when they're hitting you up with their ideas for the coolest Halloween costume ever. My kid isn't even back to school yet, and we've heard everything from "I want to be Princess Tiana" to "I want to be a cupcake." At least she's stuck to sane choices . . . so far.

But I'm not letting her get hold of a Halloween costume catalog any time soon. I know complaining about slutty the fare for kids is getting has become almost cliched, but it's hard out there for a parent who cares. True Blood for kids? Jersey Shore for kids? Really? 

Dozens of the kids costumes for Halloween are decidedly NOT kid friendly. None of these costumes should have been made . . . at least not in child-size!

Can you believe the stuff they come out with for kids these days? Would you let your kids wear any of these costumes?


  • Kids Jersey Shore Muscle Chest Costume


    What'd you do today kid? GTL, baby, fist bump! Unlike Snooki, I'm hoping the average kid wants more out of life than living in the Dirty Jerz with a buff, tanned dude. . . or being one.

  • Feather Showgirl Costume


    To be fair, she doesn't show that much skin. But you name one parent who wants their daughter to grow up to be a Vegas showgirl, and I'll suggest they get out of the casino and join the PTA.

  • Kids Michael Jackson Costume


    So, you want to dress your little boy like a man still widely considered to have been a pedophile who preyed on . . . little boys. The fact that he's dead doesn't negate the creep factor here folks.

  • Kids Pimp Costume


    In case you were wondering, here's a conversation you should never have with your 7-year-old: "Well son, it's time you get all those bitches and hos on the playground in line to work for you." No. Just No.

  • Kids Geisha Costume


    Calling this an "Asian princess" costume sounds better than what some sellers call this -- a geisha outfit for kids. Historically, many of these women sold their sexual services. Those who didn't were still subservient to men. Today women aren't allowed to even apprentice for this job until they're at least 18 (except in Kyoto). Still want to send your 6-year-old out like this?

  • Sookie Stackhouse


    Now, I love True Blood as much as any devotee of the church of Eric Northman. But I can't help noticing this costume comes in a juniors small -- the size of your average tween. Now let's think about why adult women worship Alexander Skarsgard, and why we don't invite our favorite tweens to join us in the room. . . This one's best kept in the teen camp.

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